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Air Zimbabwe to cut 500 jobs to stay afloat


By Godfrey Marawanyika (AFP) - 3 hours ago

HARARE - Zimbabwe's national carrier said Tuesday it will cut 500 jobs,
one-third of its workforce, in a bid to prevent the embattled airline from
going under.

"We have no option other but to right-size or else we are dead," Air
Zimbabwe chief executive Peter Chikumba told AFP.

Nearly a decade of economic and political crisis has seen annual passenger
numbers for the struggling airline drop from a peak of one million in 1996
to just 300,000 now, the company said.

The state-owned airline formed in 1980 after the country's independence has
been beset by a string of financial problems.

The company currently has a 30 million US dollar debt, and has asked the
government to sell its stake in the airline in a bid to raise desperately
needed cash from private investors.

"If we do not do anything about it, the business will collapse and it will
be very unfortunate if this happens," Chikumba told AFP.

Last year at the height of the country's hyperinflation, which officially
hit 231 million percent but was believed many times higher, Air Zimbabwe was
forced to sell tickets in the virtually worthless local currency.

That left the airline struggling to pay its membership fees with the airline
regulation body, the International Air Transport Association (IATA), while
it couldn't pay landing fees at London's Gatwick Airport.

Chikumba was hopeful that the unity government formed in February between
President Robert Mugabe and his erstwhile rival Prime Minister Morgan
Tsvangirai would bring economic stability and improve the business
environment.

"We are positive that the political atmosphere that has been created will
bring potential investors into the airline and the country," said Chikumba.

Air Zimbabwe's fortunes nosedived so dramatically that one flight in 2005
arrived from Dubai carrying a single passenger.

The route has since been closed, together with Kinshasa and Luanda, while
the airline has concentrated on busy routes to South Africa, Britain and
Zambia.

The company has also been hit hard by the national brain drain as
experienced personnel such as engineers and pilots are poached by rival
carriers in the region and Europe.

Chikumba said the retrenchment was a way of trimming the company's workforce
to match the reduced business climate, while retaining staff with the right
skills.

He also expressed concern about the airline's ageing fleet.

"Our 737 fleet is 23 years old and has outlived its economic life span," he
said.

"The standard economic life span of an aircraft is about 15 years.
Maintenance costs are high, spares for these aeroplanes are scarce,"
Chikumba added.

The company's newer planes are three Boeing 737s, two 767s and three Chinese
MA60s which were purchased in 2005.

The political crisis in the southern African nation has decimated key
industries like mining and agriculture, and run the country's education and
health sector to the ground.

Once described as a model economy and a regional breadbasket, Zimbabwe's
political crisis drove the economy to a near collapse with severe shortages
of basic foodstuffs like sugar and cooking oil.

Mugabe has blamed Zimbabwe's meltdown on sanctions imposed by Britain and
other Western nations, but his opponents accuse his government of widespread
economic mismanagement.


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Crisis Group to issue damning report on unity government

http://www.swradioafrica.com

By Lance Guma
18 August 2009

The Crisis in Zimbabwe Coalition will be issuing a damning report,
highlighting the shortcomings of the 7 month coalition government. The
report is entitled "Can apples be reaped from a thorn tree: The inclusive,
exclusive and elusive government". It will analyse the critical issues which
were meant to address the country's democratic deficit. Programmes Manager
Pedzisai Ruhanya told Newsreel on Tuesday that the report criticizes the
inability of the inclusive government to deal with issues of transitional
justice. He said victims of last year's political violence are still crying
out for justice and yet no attempts are underway to address this.

The report will list all the senior army officers deployed countrywide last
year and who led the brutal campaign of murder and intimidation against
opposition supporters. Ruhanya told us they will question the government on
the whereabouts of these officers who are thought to be still deployed in
the provinces. "ZANU PF talks about transitional justice yet keeps arresting
members of the MDC. We are seeing a selective application of the law and yet
people who killed people last year, some of them are still holding public
office," he said.

The slow pace of media reform is also highlighted in the report, with
developments in the last few days showing that the government was not
serious about licencing papers like the banned Daily News. Ruhanya said the
government has instead focused on trying to have external radio stations
broadcasting into the country shut down. "What kind of culture scorns at
media diversity," he remarked.

The country's controversial land reform exercise is also highlighted, as are
several other outstanding issues. The conclusion in the report is that the
unity government has failed to meets its obligations under the Global
Political Agreement and ZANU PF is to blame for most of the violations.
"While the other party (MDC) is committed to the GPA, the other party, which
has a history of impunity and lawlessness and cannot survive outside
lawlessness, is not committed at all," Ruhanya said. He added that ZANU PF
was instead using the unity deal as a period of rehabilitation.

After the launch of the report the Crisis Group will take it to the
government and members of the public, through public meetings and advocacy
work. The guarantors of the unity deal, the Southern African Development
Community (SADC) and the African Union, will also receive a copy. Ruhanya
said at the next SADC summit in the DRC they will ensure all the regional
bodies have the report.


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Rights lawyers urge Speaker to publicly clarify issue of commissions

http://www.swradioafrica.com

By Violet Gonda
18 August 2009

Zimbabwe Lawyers for Human Rights (ZLHR) has blasted the state controlled
media for 'stoking confusion through falsehoods around the establishment of
independent commissions,' and has written a letter to the Speaker of
Parliament Lovemore Moyo, asking him to give a public clarification on the
selection of national commissions.

The Sunday Mail reported that the selection process of the Zimbabwe Media
Commission, the Electoral Commission, the Human Rights Commission, and the
Anti-Corruption Commission had been suspended, and that a system of
"proportional representation" of the three political parties will be used to
establish these commissions. But this announcement was reportedly denied by
the Speaker of Parliament, who told ZimOnline website the process of
selecting the independent commissioners was going ahead as planned.

Irene Petras from ZLHR told SW Radio Africa on Tuesday that the office that
is mandated with running the process of choosing candidates - the Committee
on Standing Rules and Orders - should be making public statements about this
important process as it is now 'impossible to rely' on information which
comes from the state media. "The chair of the committee, the Speaker, needs
to publicly put the matter to rest and clarify what is happening, to avoid
speculation and misinforming the public."

She said the rights body will also be sending another letter to the
parliamentary portfolio committee on Media, Information and Publicity to set
up an enquiry into the way the state controlled media has been reporting on
the establishment of the national commissions.

"ZLHR notes the continued biased, inaccurate and sometimes very misleading
reporting in the state-controlled print or electronic media respectively.
Their continued and unchanged monopoly and unrepentant propensity to publish
biased and false "news" has the potential to be conveyed to a large section
of the general public, and this "news" can have severe and negative intended
or unintended consequences. It is therefore necessary that the issues raised
be clarified and put in the correct perspective."

However, Petras said if the information published by the state media turned
out to be accurate it would be of 'great concern' as it would indicated that
the politicians are attempting to influence the processes. She said the
constitution stipulates a clear process for the establishing, independence
and effectiveness of these commissions.  "We see a trend where the people in
government believe they can vary provisions of the inter-party political
agreement and as long as they agree amongst themselves then there is no
problem, which is a very dangerous message of doing business, particularly
because there is a constitution with clear guidelines set out about how the
commissions should be set up."


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Zim Media Commission candidates nominated

http://www.newsnet.co.zw/

Posted: Tue, 18 Aug 2009 16:08:16 +0200
The Clerk of Parliament Mr. Austin Zvoma says the due process of nominating
candidates to sit on the Zimbabwe Media Commission has been completed.

The Clerk of Parliament Mr. Austin Zvoma says the due process of nominating
candidates to sit on the Zimbabwe Media Commission has been completed.

Addressing journalists, Mr. Zvoma said the names of 12 nominees recommended
by the Standing Rules and Orders Committee have already been forwarded to
the Head of State and Government, and Commander in- Chief of the Zimbabwe
Defence Forces President Robert Mugabe.

The Clerk of parliament re-iterated that, the nomination of candidates to
three other commissions including the Anti-Corruption Commission, the
Zimbabwe Electoral Commission and the Zimbabwe Human Rights Commission will
soon follow.

The absence of a media commission means that all newspapers that are seeking
to register to operate in the country, including the Daily News, will have
to wait a little longer since there is no body with the mandate to register
media houses in the country.


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Battle to oust Mutambara intensifies

http://www.thezimbabwetimes.com/?p=21337

August 18, 2009

By Raymond Maingire

HARARE - The on-going battle to oust Arthur Mutambara, leader of the smaller
Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) party, intensified Monday when yet
another group opposed to his continued leadership surfaced and laid claim to
control of the battered party.

The group is said to be under the interim leadership of Edwin Dzambara, a
Mashonaland Central based member of the national executive of the party.

Dzambara says he has taken over the position of party secretary general from
the incumbent Professor Welshman Ncube, who is believed to be the kingpin in
the Mutambara-led MDC. Ncube was the founder of the party. He later invited
Mutambara from South Africa where he was based to return home and take over
the leadership of the party.

Dzambara did not reveal who was now president of the new leadership.

He claims he enjoys the support of the majority of the MDC's national
executive council members, the party's supreme organ in between congresses
and has administrative and implementing authority.

The self-proclaimed secretary general of the MDC has immediately tried to
flex his muscles by writing to Lovemore Moyo, the Speaker of Parliament,
advising him he was now the "legitimate" secretary general of the MDC and
was withdrawing a letter written to him by Mutambara last month calling for
the ejection of the three rebel legislators from the beleaguered party.

The three are Nkayi South MP, Abednico Bhebhe, Njabuliso Mguni (Lupane East)
and Norman Mpofu (Bulilima East).

They have since taken the dispute to the Supreme Court after the High Court
last week dismissed their initial application to challenge their dismissal.

Dzambara wrote, "It has come to our attention that professor Welshman Ncube
has written letters to you purporting to fire and dismiss the above stated
honourable Members of Parliament.

"We advise that the letters are useless, meaningless and do not represent
the views and position of our party."

Dzambara was in June this year reported to have clashed head-on with his
leadership at a party national executive council meeting when he reportedly
seconded a motion moved by one Mashiri, chairperson for Masvingo province to
recall Mutambara.

Mashiri said Mutambara had not been elected constitutionally.

Dzambara says the MDC national council refused to endorse the expulsion of
the three as it was in violation of the party's constitution.

The national council he was referring to was a parallel sitting altogether
to the one which was chaired by Mutambara, the Deputy Prime Minister, last
week.

The national council which was chaired by Mutambara resolved to file
criminal charges against the Speaker, accusing him of deliberately delaying
the expulsion of the rebel MPs and claiming the conduct of the Speaker was
influenced by a "vested interest" in the matter.

Moyo became Speaker after the smaller MDC's 10 legislators defied a party
directive to vote for a candidate, Paul Themba Nyathi, who had the backing
of Zanu-PF.

The two national councils were followed by a press conference called by
former MDC legislator for St Mary's and prominent MDC member, Job Sikhala,
who claimed he had seized control of the troubled party from Mutambara whom
he described as a Zanu-PF puppet.

On his part, Sikhala refused to be drawn to comments about the new group
headed by Dzambara.

He said he does not want to compromise the group's interests by shedding
light on their activities.

In the letter to the Speaker of Parliament, Dzambara says the MDC national
council resolved to reverse the said expulsion of the MDC rebels.

"The national council of the party met to deliberate and dismiss the
decision on the said matter in line with our constitution (section 12.4.1)
on 13 August 2009 and refused to endorse the unconstitutional and procedural
position that he and Professor Arthur Mutambara purport to have taken.

"We are now advising you that as the sole and legitimate leadership of the
MDC we are withdrawing that letter forthwith.

"Mr Speaker, Sir, please note that any legitimate communication from our
formation will come only from myself as the acting secretary general of the
party. Please stand guided accordingly."

The letter was copied to South Africa's President Jacob Zuma, Clerk of
Parliament, Austin Zvoma and party chief whips, Edward Mkhosi
(MDC-Mutambara), Joram Gumbo (Zanu-PF) and Innocent Gonese of the mainstream
MDC led by Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai.

The letter, which is dated August 13, 2009, was also copied to Bhebhe, Mguni
and Mpofu.

Meanwhile, Zvoma has confirmed receipt of his copy of the letter but said
this would not change anything as Parliament only deals with the incumbent
secretary general, Ncube and not any other individual.

"We only deal with the party's secretary general. What we know is that Ncube
is the secretary general of the MDC."

On his part, Ncube told journalists Friday his party would rather lose the
three seats occupied by the rebel legislators than keep "the enemy" within
the party structures.

He accused the three of siding with the Tsvangirai led MDC, from which he
led a rebellion against, in 2005.

The Tsvangirai led MDC is now the dominant party in Parliament, having
secured a total of 100 seats against Zanu PF's 99, in the 2008 elections.


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Zim loses 20,000 teachers to neighbours

http://www.portalangop.co.ao/

8/18/09 8:12 PM

Harare

Harare- Zimbabwe has lost more than 20,000 teachers to its neighbours in the
last two years because of poor remuneration, Education Minister David
Coltart said here Monday.

Coltart said most of the teachers, who taught maths and english, had gone to
Botswana and South Africa.

He said poor salaries and working conditions were the main reason for the
exodus of  teachers, leaving local schools unmanned.

"We have lost over 20,000 teachers since 2007. In South Africa, an entry
teacher earns about R8000 (about US$978), which (is) not commensurate with
what local teachers are getting,"  he said.

Zimbabwean teachers get an average of US$150 per month, which is woefully
inadequate.

Only teachers at private schools, which are few in the country, receive
better pay.


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Hot Seat interview: Minister David Coltart on 'MDC rebels'

http://www.swradioafrica.com/pages/hotseat180809.htm
 
 

SW RADIO AFRICA TRANSCRIPT

HOT SEAT: Education Minister and Khumalo Senator David Coltart was a guest on SW Radio Africa’s Hot Seat Programme. He tells interviewer Violet Gonda that his MDC party had to act against three rebel MPs who have been expelled for defying the party leadership. He also reveals why he believes Paul Themba Nyathi would have made “an outstanding Speaker of Parliament”.

Broadcast: 14 August 2009

VIOLET GONDA: Senator David Coltart, the Minister of Education, Sport, Art and Culture is my guest on the Hot Seat programme. In this two-part discussion the Minister talks about the crisis in the education sector, the in-fighting in his party and the progress of the coalition government. I started by asking Minister Coltart to give us his position on the issue of the targeted sanctions.

DAVID COLTART: Well our position is governed by the terms of the GPA. The GPA is very clear that sanctions should be lifted. However, and this is an important rider, you cannot look at any provision in the GPA in isolation, it has to be looked holistically and we have to look at it not just in the way it is implemented as to its letter but also as to its spirit and this is a real chicken

and egg situation – which comes first and I think that we’ve got to see a couple of simultaneous acts taking place.

We have to see good faith being demonstrated by all parties so it is up to the combined MDC to call for sanctions to be uplifted but at the same time, Zanu-PF needs to demonstrate good faith - so the governors should be sworn in, Roy Bennett should be sworn in, these prosecutions that appear to be done in a partisan fashion need to stop. We need to have a more objective process in deciding who should be prosecuted. Let me stress that I’m a lawyer, I believe in the constitution, I believe in the rule of law, I believe that if someone has committed a crime that person should be prosecuted but the trouble is that these prosecutions smack of partisanship, smack of subjectivity and the point I’m simply making, is that our calls for sanctions to be uplifted must be matched by acts of good faith demonstrated by Zanu-PF. And that’s not just in terms of our inter-personal relationship, it doesn’t matter how much we call for sanctions to be uplifted, those sanctions, in whatever form they are will not be uplifted by the countries that have imposed them unless those countries themselves believe that the GPA is being implemented in its full spirit. We can have as many trips as we like to Europe and America but, if whilst we are calling for sanctions to be uplifted, members of parliament from the MDC are being arrested and prosecuted left right and centre, our cries are going to fall on deaf ears. So the GPA is clear – we have to call for the uplifting of sanctions but we have to see this holistically and everyone has to act in good faith for sanctions actually to be uplifted at the end of the day.

GONDA: There are reports saying that MDC officials, like yourself, advocated for smart sanctions and ZIDERA - the Zimbabwe Democracy Economic and Recovery Act. What can you say about this?

COLTART: Well first of all I challenge anyone who can show that I advocated that ZIDERA to be implemented, but that’s another issue. All I have said in the past is that where there are clear violations of human rights being perpetrated by certain people, the dictates of justice have demanded that there be justice and if there cannot be domestic justice then there has to be international justice. But that is past, we are now committed to this new dispensation with all its flaws and in terms of this new dispensation we believe that the country should be given a chance for this peaceful method of achieving a transition to work and part of that, part of the demonstration of good faith is that whatever targeted sanctions were imposed on individuals should be lifted, but it is a matter of common sense that unless we can all, Zanu-PF and the combined MDC demonstrate that everyone is acting in good faith, it doesn’t matter what we say, other people are not going to listen to us.

GONDA: And of course the Deputy Prime Minister Arthur Mutambara reportedly told a meeting of the Commercial Farmers Union that the two MDC formations have no power to stop continued abuses of power by Zanu-PF and that he said the parties have no control in the unity government. Now as a government minister, what have been your observations, do you agree with this and to what extent is this coalition government working?

COLTART: If you go back to what I wrote on about the 15 th of September last year when the Agreement was first signed, I said it then that it was an imperfect agreement, it is a flawed agreement, it’s a compromise agreement and inevitably when you have a flawed agreement like that, it remains flawed and it follows that I have always had the very low expectations. Now that sounds a very negative statement, I don’t have low expectations in the sense that I believe it’s going to fail, I have low expectations in the sense that this is a process and it’s a long, tedious process. But having said that, I’m not negative about where the process is at. My expectations are being met, I think that we’ve made considerable progress in terms of restoring the rule of law, in terms of bringing back respect to the people, in terms of stabilising the economy and opening up certain sectors but things haven’t changed overnight and that is especially so when we look at the situation prevailing on the farms. And I agree with the Deputy Prime Minister, Arthur Mutambara that in many respects at this juncture we are powerless. We don’t have the Minister of Agriculture, we don’t have the Minister of Lands, we don’t hold the office of Attorney General, we don’t hold the office of the Minister of Justice and these are all the parties who could make a major difference when it comes to the land issue.

However it doesn’t end there. The GPA stipulates that there has to be a land audit, it’s very clear about that and that the land audit has to be conducted urgently and we’ve taken the GPA provisions in that regard a step further in STERP. STERP acknowledges that the land audit must happen and when that land audit happens as it must if the GPA is to be respected, I think it is going to reveal that there are multiple farm holdings, that there are vast tracts of land lying fallow and that there are other farmers, qualified farmers who have the ability to farm those fallow lands. We have the other imperative and that is to restore the economy, to get foreign exchange flows back into the country and all of these practical concerns combined with our obligations are joint obligations in terms of the GPA and are ultimately going to address the issues that we cannot address at present because we don’t hold those other offices.

But of course it doesn’t deal with the here and now, it doesn’t deal with the terrible things that have happened since February with on-going violation of the Agreement in that regard, but we mustn’t just take this snapshot, we have to see this as a process, as a progression. If we are still in the same position this time next year then I think we’ll have very serious concerns because then it will be demonstrable that there’s been no progression but I think that as a nation we have to wait for this land audit to take place and see what that yields.

Another crucial factor in this regard is the issue of governors. As we know from the history of the last ten years, the governors have largely and have often been those responsible for the coordination of the implementation of Zanu-PF’s land reform programme and I think that it’s going to be a very interesting exercise to see what happens in those provinces which have MDC governors, to see whether these abuses will continue. I think that they will slow down if not stop altogether.

GONDA: What about SADC’s role in this? We saw the Prime Minister travelling to South Africa to complain about some of these unresolved issues that you mentioned, but when are we going to see movement from SADC?

COLTART: That is a perennial concern. We as a nation have wanted SADC to deal with this problem a lot quicker and that goes back to March 2007 and even beyond that but once again we need to be realistic about this. SADC is not a homogenous body; there are different points of view within SADC. There are some countries that have not seen any problem whatsoever with what has happened in Zimbabwe because quite frankly what goes on in their country is arguably as bad if not worse and for any SADC leader it is not a matter of simply issuing a statement until one has built a consensus and I think that whilst that has been very frustrating for us as Zimbabweans we need to understand that we live in that context and we just have to deal with that. But I think that if we look back at what SADC has done in the last couple of years, whilst it has been tedious and slow, SADC has in fact averted a civil war, has averted even greater bloodshed in our country and SADC should be given credit for that. The fact that we have stabilised the country, that we have dollarised, the schools are open, the cholera has ended, that peace prevails in most of the country at present, not everywhere but most of the country.

And I need to stress Violet that I get just as frustrated by the slow progress as other people but I recognise that SADC has achieved quite a lot and we need to continue giving SADC a chance to deliver on our remaining concerns. I have a lot of faith in President Zuma. I’ve taken a lot of encouragement from things that he’s done in South Africa in terms of the appointment of his cabinet. It seems to me that he’s a very practical politician who knows what he’s doing and I think that he will act in a very deliberate manner in resolving these issues and we need to give him a chance to do so. I don’t believe that he is ignoring our plight. I think what he’s trying to do is to ensure that this Agreement remains on track.

GONDA: Can you give us an insight into the fights within your party where several MPs have been expelled?


COLTART: Well what I will say is that the in-fighting is unfortunate. It’s hard to put any gloss on it, no matter what the rights and wrongs are; the fact remains that the public sees us bickering and it does not create a favourable impression of our party. I don’t propose to go into the rights and wrongs in this interview. I hope that we can resolve our differences and keep our party on track. I think that all true democrats will agree in multi party democracy, that even small parties with different views have the right to have their views expressed, have a right to participate in governments through proportional representation and other democratic measures. And I think that if people look at the role of the MDC objectively, and I believe that history will prove this to be the case, without the MDC -M’s involvement in the last couple of years I don’t believe that we would have had the Global Political Agreement. I think that we had these two protagonists in Zanu-PF and the MDC -T and it was very difficult to bridge that gulf and it took the small MDC -M party to bridge that gulf and any people as you know Violet, have been critical of the role that we played but somebody had to play that bridging role and we played that role very effectively in the negotiating process. We were accused of wanting to go into bed with Zanu-PF and that we were going to join the Zanu-PF government – all of those allegations have been proved to be false. That was never our intention. Our intention was to try to achieve a non-violent settlement to this great trauma that our country was going through. And I believe that we have a an on-going role even now, even in this transitional government and so to that extent I don’t think that people should smirk and be happy about the internal wranglings going on in our party but should be concerned because we are pivotal to the success of this agreement and it’s important that we stabilise the party so that we can make a useful contribution to ensure that the GPA lives out its life, that we get a new democratic constitution in place and then we go to the electorate and let the electorate decide who they want to govern them.

GONDA: But it’s the leadership that is firing the MPs so can you really afford to be firing MPs since you only have ten?


COLTART: Of course we can’t afford, we’ve got very little political capitol to spend and it’s a very difficult decision that the party has to make. The problem is that this wasn’t of our creation. We didn’t send colleagues to go to Gaborone to speak to Lovemore Moyo ( MDC -T Speaker of Parliament), it wasn’t our doing. We have not asked for our members to be attending political meetings with members of other political parties damning our leadership. To that extent I’m sympathetic to our leadership. Bear in mind that I’m not in the leadership. As you know, I on principle didn’t go to either congress in 2006 because I was so concerned about the split of the old united MDC so I’m not in the leadership of the MDC -M but I’m sympathetic towards them. In many respects I believe they are between a rock and a hard place. We clearly have a cancer within our party and when you have cancer you have two choices – either you just don’t operate and let it spread throughout the whole body and it will kill you ultimately or you try and deal with the cancer and root out that cancer. It can still kill you after you have rooted out that cancer but at least you have a chance of survival.

Now my hope, having used that terminology, is that and I need to stress that I don’t refer to my colleagues like Abedinico Bhebhe as cancerous growths, these are people I have worked with, they are colleagues who I’ve had a great respect for in the past but some of their actions have been very damaging to the party. I hope that we can still encourage them to remain within the party but I think they need to make an election. We have leaders who were elected in a congress that they attended and voted at themselves, ironically which I didn’t attend or vote at and it is not time yet for our new congress and that leadership should be respected, that democratic process should be respected. If they believe that our party has deviated so fundamentally from our founding principles well then they have a democratic right to resign and join another political party and that is what they should do. But as long as they want to remain within the party, the right thing to do is to fight for those issues within the party, not to go publicly, not to side with people from other political parties in criticising our party but to conduct a vigorous constructive critical debate within the party to ensure that those issues are addressed.

GONDA: And of course you said just a short while ago that many had said that your party was in bed with Zanu-PF and that has been proved to be false, but has it really because you have your own colleagues like Job Sikhala saying that he is now trying to rescue the party from being auctioned off to Mugabe and Zanu-PF and that the party has lost direction under the leadership of Professor Mutambara, and just a few days ago, Sikhala claimed he’s the new president of the MDC . What can you say about this?


COLTART: Well Job Sikhala is one of my oldest friends in parliament. We were elected together in 2000 and I’ve always enjoyed his very colourful contributions to debate in parliament and this is a continuation of that tradition. He’s a very colourful politician but once again one needs to be grounded in reality. The fact of the matter is that he hasn’t been elected in any congress; he has no more right to declare himself as President of the MDC than I have to declare myself President of Zimbabwe. He has a democratic right to express his views but if he doesn’t like the party and where it is headed, well he has two choices. He should either conduct a vigorous, constructive, critical debate as I say within the party and try to get those issues resolved or he should resign and join another political party. Now I too have concerns about the way our party is run as I have concerns from the outside looking in to Zanu-PF and the MDC -T, but so long as a political party is made up of fallible human beings there will be problems associated with political parties. Ours is not a perfect political party but the correct thing to do is to work, it’s a bit like a family – you’re part of the family, you work as hard as you can within that family to correct the mistakes that have been made and clearly we have all made mistakes within the MDC -M as have people in other political parties. But until one has made that election, or that decision rather that ones efforts are not going to bear fruit, you’ve got to fight within. When you get to that position of deciding that you can’t go any further, well then your democratic right is to resign and join another political party.

GONDA: And you mentioned MP Abedinico Bhebhe we spoke to him a couple of weeks ago and he’s saying that he’s being victimised by the leadership because he was one of those MPs from the party who refused to go along to endorse the Zanu-PF candidate for Speaker of Parliament because the person was not the people’s choice.

COLTART: Well I think once again one needs to go back to the facts of the matter. This so-called Zanu-PF person for Speaker was none other than Paul Themba Nyathi. Now those of us within Zimbabwe who know Paul Themba Nyathi know that if there was ever a genuine democrat, a person genuinely committed to transparency and respect for human rights it is Paul Themba Nyathi. His track record speaks for itself, going back to Zimbabwe Project and all the work he did in the rehabilitation of ex-combatants and all of those people including Abedinico Bhebhe who know Paul well, know that he is a man of absolute integrity who would have made an outstanding speaker and by resolution in the MDC -M, not with Zanu-PF, we resolved that that person would be our candidate for Speaker. I’m not going to cast any aspersions against my other friend Lovemore Moyo but my own subjective view is that Paul Themba Nyathi would have made a better Speaker. Forget about any subjective considerations, think about this – had Paul been elected Speaker by choice, Lovemore Moyo would have retained his seat in Matobo. There would be no need for a potentially damaging by-election in Matobo, no need for the resurgence of violence and so I think that was has happened is that people have twisted the facts , they’ve distorted the history of this matter, they’ve tried to paint Paul Themba Nyathi as some devil and not recognising the quality of the man. And the fact that Zanu-PF were prepared to back Paul Themba Nyathi last year should not be seen as some negative thing, I think it should be seen as a very constructive development that they too recognised the need for someone who was going to settle parliament down, take us through this very difficult transition in an orderly fashion which I have no doubt that Paul Themba Nyathi would have done.

GONDA: We talked a bit about the election of leaders and you said you were not at the congress, but what are your thoughts on how your leaders have been chosen in the last few years, especially Deputy Prime Minister Mutambara as some reports say he was invited because Professor Welshman Ncube and others had accepted that no Ndebele person could ever lead Zimbabwe - and some are saying that if this is the case, then this is a fatal flaw left over from Zimbabwe’s history. What are your thoughts on this?


COLTART: Once again, people have got very selective memories. People conveniently forget that Arthur Mutambara for example was detained before Morgan Tsvangirai was detained way back in 1988 and in fact Morgan Tsvangirai was first detained when he protested about Arthur Mutambara’s detention. Those of us who recall the events of those years, of the late 1980s will recall that Arthur Mutambara was a strident student leader who demonstrated a great passion for his country and for human rights to be respected in Zimbabwe and he hasn’t changed. The fact that he went out of the country to further his education should not be held against him. In fact what is remarkable about Arthur Mutambara is that unlike so many people who have left the country, he was prepared to come back, face the music and put his shoulder to the wheel in terms of resuscitating Zimbabwe, so I just want to make this first point that I reject those people who say that Arthur Mutambara was parachuted into Zimbabwe, that he’s a political nonentity, people are simply disregarding history in that regard. Turning to another of your points and this notion of needing a Shona speaking person to lead the political party, well once again I stress I wasn’t at the congress, I wasn’t part of any of the discussions that brought Arthur Mutambara in so I don’t know whether that is true or not but let me say this, that once again we need to be rooted in the political reality of the country and there sadly are a few realities – let me take an easy one – one of the realities is that it would be entirely inappropriate to have a white person, so soon after independence run for the presidency of this country. Whilst that may seem a racist statement it is still too soon after the end of colonialism for this country to contemplate having a white ruler. That is just a political reality. And sadly, whilst it is not as strong a political reality as for example having a white leader, it remains a reality that the vast majority of Zimbabweans do not have Ndebele as their mother tongue and will gravitate towards a Shona speaking leader. That is a political reality that we simply cannot ignore and if that was the calculation, well it was a reasonable calculation but it wasn’t as if anyone was selected. Arthur Mutambara who had a long history of commitment to human rights and of courage was elected at a congress that was duly called, that people had the right to nominate others but he was elected by acclaim as part of a democratic, transparent process within that political party. And once again I just conclude by saying that that is a factual position, a political reality that people simply cannot ignore.

GONDA: How would you respond to people who say that Professor Mutambara talks like Robert Mugabe but walks like a reformer?


COLTART: Well Professor Mutambara ironically is criticised by all sides because he is very outspoken. As you may know, just last week in the Herald he was criticised for being too pro-west and on other occasions he is criticised because he is perceived as being anti-west. Now I don’t see how one can be a person who speaks like Robert Mugabe when the Herald as the government mouthpiece will say at the same time that he espouses views that are totally contradictory to what Robert Mugabe believes in. So once again I think that this generally comes from people who make subjective, partisan comments, who are not prepared to consider the truth and the factual reality. People who will perhaps take statements in isolation, out of context but who are not prepared to consider his statements in their full context and holistically. I think that when you look at Professor Mutambara’s comments regarding what the business community needs to do, his position on the Kariba Draft constitution, his position on land invasions you will see that he holds to positions that are completely at variance to what Robert Mugabe believes and speaks about. And so in essence those who allege that he is indistinguishable from Robert Mugabe are just ignoring the facts before them.

GONDA: What are the political parties or the political players thinking about Gibson Sibanda, your Deputy President, where is he now that he is no longer minister?


COLTART: Once again Gibson Sibanda is one of the politicians I respect the most in this country. I think that he is in many respects a father figure, not just within the MDC -M, within the MDC -T; I think he is deeply revered by many people and I think that his position is going to be rectified. I think that all people acknowledge especially in the context of this healing organ that he is pivotal to the success of that. I hope that that can be resolved through an MP standing aside to allow him to contest a seat so that he can take his rightful place in parliament and I look forward in the next few weeks to that issue being resolved. I think that we owe it to Gibson Sibanda to deal with this issue but I think as well that the time has come for the nation to realise that in Gibson Sibanda we literally have a national treasure. We have a rare politician who is not materialistic, he’s not corrupt, he’s the same person he was when he was the president of the Zimbabwe Congress of Trade Unions over a decade ago and to that extent it is incumbent upon all of us, on Zanu-PF, on the MDC -T and on the MDC -M to ensure that we create a position for him to make what I have no doubt will be one of the most meaningful contributions to the peaceful transition we are going through.

GONDA: That was Minister David Coltart on the programme Hot Seat. Next week we look at the fact that teachers’ unions say there are too many centres of power in the Education Ministry and that important decisions made by Minister Coltart are being ignored or reversed by his Permanent Secretary or the Public Service Commission. To what extent is Mr Coltart in control of his ministry? We also discuss the issue of youth militia in schools and ghost workers on the payroll.

Feedback can be sent to violet@swradioafrica.com


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Doctors remain on strike increasing fears around swine flu pandemic

http://www.swradioafrica.com

By Alex Bell
18 August 2009

Doctors in Zimbabwe have vowed to remain on strike until the unity
government addresses their salary grievances. This is increasing concerns
about the impact of the swine flu pandemic, in a country that already has an
unacceptably high death rate in the hospitals.

Poverty, disease and overburdened health systems make Africa an easy target
for the H1N1 influenza virus, commonly referred to as swine flu, which
health experts say will be difficult to track as it spreads across the
continent. Africa is the last continent to be hit by the virus that has
killed over a thousand people around the world, since it was first detected
in April in Mexico.

So far the continent's death toll remains small, with six killed in South
Africa, three in Mauritius, and one in Egypt. Botswana, Gabon, Kenya,
Madagascar, Namibia and Swaziland also have medically confirmed cases, but
experts say the disease could be spreading undetected in more countries, due
to a lack of medical facilities across the continent. Many African countries
are already affected by immune-weakening illnesses like Aids, making them
more susceptible to new viruses. In a country like Zimbabwe, where the
health sector is slowly starting to recover after collapsing last year, even
minor illnesses carry a potential death sentence.

The Zimbabwe Association of Doctors for Human Rights (ZADHR) has said the
strike is also undermining efforts to recover the once effective health
system in the country. The Association's Dr Douglas Gwatidzo on Tuesday said
that a prolonged strike would ultimately result in "increased morbidity and
preventable deaths."

"While it is the Government's duty to ensure that Zimbabweans have
available, accessible and quality health care, doctors also have a
responsibility to contribute towards this realisation of the right to
health." Dr Gwatidzo said.

Efforts to end the strike failed last week, with striking doctors dismissing
promises to amend their monthly allowances. Many doctors last week joined
the two week long strike action by junior doctors, demanding higher salaries
and the restoration of allowances, which had been withdrawn last month by
the government. The Health Service Board has since said that allowances for
items such as accommodation, uniforms and night duty had not been included
in doctors' monthly salaries 'in error' and would be restored. But doctors
have vowed to remain on strike, until the government heeds their call for an
upward review of their salaries.

"We are still waiting for a solid decision from the government. If it
refuses to honour our request we cannot return to work," said the head of
the Hospital Doctors Association, Brighton Chizhande on Monday.

Experts meanwhile have also warned that Africa lacks the money to
effectively combat the spread of swine flu. World Health Organisation (WHO)
regional director Luis Gomes Sambo warned last week that the agency had
already had US$31m shortfall in its African response plan.

"So far only $700 000 has been made available and it will be difficult to
shift funds already earmarked for other public health programmes," Sambo
said.

The WHO has set up a crisis management team in Brazzaville to help countries
monitor the disease and ensure cases are detected early. This team will have
support centres in Zimbabwe, Gabon and Burkina Faso. Dr Gwatidzo on Tuesday
said Zimbabwe was 'fairly prepared' for the spread of swine flu in the
country, explaining that consignments of flu-drugs used to fight the virus
have arrived and are being prescribed in Zimbabwe. He said that so far,
swine flu cases have only been diagnosed at private medical institutions,
and acknowledged that the spread of the disease through public hospitals is
a worry.

"Right now, with patient distribution being what it is, the institutions
that can manage this disease are doing so," Dr Gwatidzo said. "What happens
if this disease spreads into poorer areas is a different matter."


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SA men part of Zim rhino poaching set

From The Cape Argus (SA), 16 August

Eleanor Momberg

South Africans are involved in the poaching of rhinos and other endangered
species in Zimbabwe, according to conservationists and wildlife monitors.
The claim comes in the midst of denials by the father of Prince Harry's
former girlfriend, Charles Davy, that he was linked to a poaching syndicate
that allegedly involved two Zimbabwean ministers. "South Africans have been
involved in poaching for quite some time in Zimbabwe," said David Newton,
head of Traffic, the wildlife trade monitoring network, this week. "It is
not just rhino poaching, but also generalised poaching. They are taking
advantage of a collapsed system there." South Africans were also linked to
the bush meat trade, which saw the appearance of mobile butcheries near
poaching sites and the sale of game meat to not only the luxury end of the
Zimbabwean market, but also to the export market, said Traffic. The
involvement of South Africans in killing Zimbabwe's depleting wildlife was
also confirmed by Johnny Rodrigues, head of the Zimbabwe Conservation Task
Force (ZCTU), and Prof John Skinner of the Onderstepoort Centre for
Veterinary Wildlife. Both alleged that two Afrikaans-speaking men from
Musina were among those leading poaching operations in Zimbabwe. Rodrigues
also implicated two brothers from Alldays, Limpopo, particularly for lion
poaching in protected areas.

Skinner said the "whole poaching operation" was being run by the two Musina
men. "The authorities know who they are, but cannot nail them." Musa Zondi,
spokesman for the police's organised crime unit, yesterday said the police
were working with the Zimbabwean authorities in "trying to crack and smash
syndicates involved in poaching or any other crime". Zondi said while some
syndicates did have Chinese links, most of those operating in South Africa
used locals. Rodrigues said poaching of rhinos had reached critical levels,
with between four and 12 white and black rhinos being killed monthly. Only
five of the 54 rhinos in the Midlands Conservancy have not been killed by
poachers in the past eight months, while three rhinos had been poached in
the past week in the Bubye Valley Conservancy, partly owned by Davy. More
than 50 rhinos had been shot for their horns this year, and an estimated 120
were killed last year. Zimbabwe's rhino population, he said, was estimated
to be about 350, of which 100 were to be found at Bubye Valley.


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Interview: Morgan Tsvangirai on sharing power with Robert Mugabe

http://www.guardian.co.uk
 

'Over a long period of time you start to develop some chemistry', says Zimbabwe's prime minister

 

 

What do you say to a man widely blamed for beating you, stealing your job and trying to have you thrown out of a 10th-floor window? Morgan Tsvangirai, prime minister of Zimbabwe, insists that he is now able to joke with his long-time opponent, President Robert Mugabe.

"Over a long period of time you start to develop some chemistry," he says, leaning forward in a black armchair in his ministerial office. "That's where you can't just go in and talk about business, you actually have to talk about personal issues. Sometimes it's helpful to unlock the barriers that may exist between people."

The democrat and the dictator are six months into southern Africa's most curious marriage of convenience. Their power-sharing agreement followed a bitterly contested election that robbed Tsvangirai of victory and left scores of his supporters dead. Their two parties continue to fight, but Tsvangirai describes the odd couple's meetings as "cordial … not acrimonious".

He explains: "There are certainly many areas where we differ, but we agree to differ. We communicate, we talk, we discuss, we don't believe that there's anything insurmountable to discuss … I'm very free. I've decided that I will not keep anything to myself. I will express it and express it forcefully if it affects my own constituency, my own party and the general thrust of the inclusive government."

Recently, for example, Mugabe made a populist speech to assert Zimbabwe's disdain for western help, in direct contravention of the policy agreed with Tsvangirai. The prime minister used humour to defuse the tension by remarking: "Well, your statement was quite predictable." Mugabe, apparently, laughed it off.

Tsvangirai has proved doubters wrong simply by still being here and holding together the fragile compromise. The unity government has rescued the economy from the brink and slowly put schools and hospitals back in some semblance of working order, though the headaches that remain are legion.

Plenty of sceptics believe the president, who retains the "hard power" over the army, police and law courts, is bending the prime minister to his will. Tsvangirai insists, however, that the man who has ruled Zimbabwe with an iron fist for 29 years is no longer the main obstacle to democracy.

"This is a perpetual suspicion of Mugabe," he says. "It's a template. People can't believe that Mugabe has any capacity to change. It's an inherent mistrust and it's nothing to do with what we are trying to build."

So does Mugabe, even at 85, have the capacity to change? "I have no doubt he himself is committed to see this through. I have no doubt that perhaps there could be people in his own party or other elements who have reservations about it, but so far I think we are moving to achieve those incremental gains."

He continues: "You must understand Mugabe's political character has always been a character of denial, shifting blame for his own shortcomings. But it's always good to have a legacy, and I'm sure that for him, it is the positive aspects of his life that he wants to take, not to be reminded about the negative aspects."

Last year, it is estimated that about 200 of Tsvangirai's supporters in the Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) were murdered in violence perpetrated in the name of Mugabe's Zanu-PF. And more than 200 people were massacred when troops seized control of diamond fields in the eastern Marange district. Yet Mugabe apparently tries to laugh off his global infamy.

"He jokes about it. He says, 'People say I'm a tyrant.' So what do you think of yourself? He says, 'I'm not a tyrant.' … We don't ignore what has happened. Sometimes those things are facts on the ground which have characterised him."

Tsvangirai himself was once almost hurled from a 10th-floor window by men thought to be from Zimbabwe's secret service. He has faced three more attempts on his life and been repeatedly beaten and arrested. It is widely considered that Mugabe stole the elections from him in 2002 and again in 2008.

How, then, does the 57-year-old bring himself to now sup with the devil? He replies: "What is reconciliation without that? Reconciliation is a measure of tolerance across the very serious political divide that has existed in this country. How can we stand up as leaders and call for national unity when between us we don't relate to each other?"

Tsvangirai admits that Zanu-PF's influence over the judiciary remains problematic but dismisses fears that continuing arrests of MDC MPs will threaten the party's parliamentary majority, saying that he will simply put up more MPs in their place. He is equally sanguine about the threat of assassination, despite his finance minister, Tendai Biti, having received a 9mm bullet in the post last month.

"Those threats I don't think will go overnight. There are people who feel threatened by the very existence of the inclusive government: it threatens their patronage, it threatens their benefactors, so naturally they react."

Conspiracy theories continue to swirl around the car crash, less than a month after he became prime minister, in which Tsvangirai was hurt and his wife, Susan, was killed. He insists it was an accident.

Tsvangirai's conciliatory attitude has led to criticism, not least from within his own ranks, that he has conceded too much ground to Mugabe, sacrificing change for the facade of unity. Sceptics prophesy that, come the next election, violence will flare up again and the power-sharing agreement will be worthless. Tsvangirai vehemently rejects the charge. "I'm not bending over backwards. This is a shared compromise. It has never been meant to be winner takes all … It's not a perfect marriage. It's a marriage that is meant to ensure that this country moves forward and so, yes, frustrations will be there.

"But let's not miss the goal … We will keep our eye on the ball until such time as we are going to have an election which is free and fair."

Troubled times

1952 Born in Gutu, eldest son of a bricklayer.

1978 Marries his wife, Susan. They have six children.

1988 Becomes secretary-general of the Zimbabwe Congress of Trade Unions.

1999 Helps form the Movement for Democratic Change with support from students, trade unionists and white commercial farmers.

2000 Charged with treason; charge later dismissed.

2002 Loses presidential election.

2004 Acquitted of treason after 18-month trial.

2007 Survives brutal attack by police.

2008 Captures the most votes in the presidential election but Mugabe refuses to relinquish power.

2009 Sworn in as prime minister in unity government. Loses his wife and grandson in separate accidents.


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Gono seeks to reintroduce Zim dollar to finance Zanu-PF activities?

http://en.afrik.com/article16059.html
 
 
Tuesday 18 August 2009 / by Alice Chimora
Banks in Zimbabwe on Monday re-introduced foreign currency denominated cheque’s after they where scrapped at the height of hyperinflation last year. This was another chapter to the southern African country’s economic recovery signals from economic collapse.

The Bankers’ Association of Zimbabwe president John Mangudya said local commercial banks would start with immediate effect to issue their customers with chequebooks, for the first time in over a year. "Businesses and members of the public are advised that all commercial banks in Zimbabwe will start issuing US$ denominated cheque books to their valued customers with effect from Monday 17 August 2009," said BAZ.

The association said the US dollar denominated cheque books were valid in Zimbabwe only and were not eligible for Zimbabwe dollar accounts. "Customers should not use cheque books for their Zimbabwe dollar accounts." But clients will be limited to make cheques up to a maximum of $200 for individuals and $500 for companies.

Until now, business has been almost exclusively with foreign cash. Bank transactions grounded to a complete halt while business was conducted nearly exclusively in cash black market deals with the US dollar.

As the value of the Zimbabwe dollar fell drastically over single days, payment by cheque - taking several days to clear - became pointless. Even same-day electronic transfers were stopped because of sharp falls in the Zimdollar’s value between morning and afternoon.

However, all the madness came to a halt after the inauguration in February of a power-sharing government between Mugabes Zanu (PF) party and opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirais Movement for Democratic Change.

The MDC took over the finance ministry and immediately abolished the Zimbabwe dollar and established the US dollar and the South African rand as official legal tender. Inflation is now about 3%. Commercial banks closed clients’ Zimbabwe dollar accounts and allowed them to open fresh accounts in hard currencies.

However, on Monday controversial Central Bank governor Gideon Gono told parliament that there is genuine need to re-introduce the worthless Zimbabwe currency.

Gono said the re-introduced Zimbabwe dollar would be pegged against gold available. "You can also redeem your Zim dollar in return for an ounce of gold. Say, if you want to keep gold not cash, you can go to your bank and get an equivalent of ounces of gold to the Zim dollar you have, so we will be backing our money with reality on the ground. Such an approach is not inflationary because you are anchoring your money on productivity."

He added, "We can even print gold coins. The Zim dollar can then gain as it is anchored on gold. We need to think outside the box," he said.

But his plan has been dismissed by most Zimbabweans who said Gono is been used by Zanu PF to “destabilize the economy that is recovering”. People say Gono wants to print local currency to finance Zanu PF activities.


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Zimbabwe’s Hyperinflation: #2 in world history

http://blogs.reuters.com
 
August 18th, 2009
Posted by: Rolfe Winkler

Steve Hanke and Alex Kwok just published a paper calculating last year’s hyperinflation in Zimbabwe, when “conventional inflation measures were not available.”   Their conclusion is that in mid-November, prices were doubling every day.  That means Zimbabwe’s hyperinflation ranks second worst in world history.

 

Previously I linked to a video describing the dire monetary situation in Zimbabwe.   It puts the data above in perspective…


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5th ODI: Bangladesh beat Zimbabwe, win series 4-1

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/

AP 18 August 2009, 09:21pm IST

BULAWAYO, Zimbabwe: Mushfiqur Rahim scored 98 and paceman Dolar Mahmud took
four wickets on Tuesday to guide Bangladesh to a six-wicket victory over
Zimbabwe and clinch the series 4-1.

Rahim started cautiously before opening up, smashing 11 boundaries in 121
balls as Bangladesh romped home with 13 balls to spare at the Queen Sports
Club.

The wicketkeeper-batsman was out in the 45th over, leaving his crease to hit
through the covers but ending up being stumped by Charles Coventry, who had
replaced Brendan Taylor.

Chasing a small total in good batting conditions, Rahim and Tamim Iqbal put
on 48 for the first wicket before Iqbal on 4 missed to be clean-bowled by
veteran spinner Ray Price.

Bangladesh added just five runs before spectacular one-handed catch by Vusi
Sibanda at point removed Mohammad Ashraful for 4 off Elton Chigumbura.

Raqibul Hassan added 24 before Chigumbura induced a wild swing for Malcolm
Waller to take the running catch at mid off.

Rahim and captain Shakib Al Hasan put Bangladesh firmly on top with a 70-run
partnership. Al Hasan played a supporting role to score 30 before giving
Hamilton Masakadza an easy catch on the boundary off leg spinner Graeme
Cremer.

Earlier, Bangladesh had been put on course by Mahmud's career-best 4-2. The
right-arm seam bowler, playing his first match of the tour, utilized the
swinging conditions well.

Taylor top-scored for Zimbabwe with 61 in 86 balls, hitting three boundaries
and a six.

Zimbabwe lost its first wicket when out-of-form Vusi Sibanda exposed his
wicket and lost his leg stump to Mahmud. Charles Coventry, who hit an
unbeaten 194 on Sunday to equal the highest One-Day International score in
history, was out for a duck after getting a thick edge from Mahmud to be
caught by wicketkeeper Mushfiqur Rahim.

Hamilton Masakadza, another Zimbabwean centurion in this series, made 25
before being run out by Ashraful following a mix-up with Waller, who himself
didn't stay for long before Mahmud bowled him.

Syed Rasel then trapped Sean Williams in front for 12 before Chigumbura went
for 12 the same way to Rasel to leave the score on 65-5.

Captain Prosper Utseya, under-fire to step down following criticism over his
leadership qualities, added 54 with Ray Price for the seventh wicket off 86
balls before being bowled on 21 by Mahmudullah.

Price hit four boundaries over long on to reach 46 off 59 balls. He and
Taylor put on 53 for an eight-wicket stand before Taylor was given lbw to a
delivery from Mehraib Hossain that appeared to be missing off stump.

Price was out lbw to Rasel, then Graeme Cremer charged down the track to be
stumped by Rahim off Naeem Islam for 10.


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Comment from a correspondent - Satire

Satire
 

The secret speeches of his Excellency, Head of State and Government and Commander of theArmy at all Times

(in chronological order)

© Iona Viertheiler

 

 

1. Dear electorate of Zimbabwe,

 

as your caring father of the Nation I’m very sorry that I cannot leave the presidency to your humble Mr. Svangirai who won the harmonized elections last week. I am really sorry, but my friends say no. And as they say no, I have to pick up the burden once more despite my old age and my greedy wife who is a burden of sort. An honorable man cannot let down his friends and his wife only because he is tired. So you will see that I boldly take on the challenge to gain the presidency. And you better not disturb me in delivering my friendship’s duties. Thank you for listening.

 

Your father of the nation

 

 

 

2. Dear Mr. Mbeki, friend,

 

I thank you so much, that you did not expose me in the public. Now as we are alone and among ourselves you agree with me that I cannot give some power to the humble Mr. Svangirai, as you told me yourself long ago that you deem him a blogheaded undergraduate who does by no means deserve to govern no matter what the electorate says. The electorate is stupid, too, and wants mostly wrong things. But what is more: There are mighty people in Zimbabwe who are strongly against the idea of loosing an election. It is true I myself have made them mighty but understandably I expected them to serve me with that power. Now they became naughty and tell me that they will kick my ass when I dare to give some of their power to the humble Mr. Svangirai only because he has won the elections. As you do not want me beeing kicked in the ass just because of that blogheaded undergraduate you have to keep on your quiet diplomacy. I am very thankfull for that. Now let us have a fine cup of English tea together among well educated academics. Thank you.

 

 

 

 

 

3. Dear colleages of the SADC, your Excellencies,

 

somehow there raised the impression that I was not the rightful president of Zimbabwe. It is a shame that some of you say that I have stolen the presidency. That is false, completely false. I have not stolen it. I had to rob it by using gross violence. This was intimidating believe me. I did not deserve such an intimacy as I have not merely died in the anticolonial freedom fighting, I was also forced to gain my academic degrees in colonial prisons. More than that I have sacrificed 28 years of my life just to govern a country which recently turned out lacking thankfulness. The elections were flawed as the rigging took too long and we had even to silence an outstanding official who claimed that the polls were rigged and through his carcass into the bush. On top of that I had to use a lot of money which even was partly private to pay the hopeful youth of Zimbabwe to work on my behalf. It could be that this will cost me more money in the futur when they have to be resicialized. I am very thankful that in that dire situation most of you do not expect from me to just step down but instead ask me to built a Government of Unity with the humble Mr. Svangirai. In my heart I’m not really willing to do that but you put enough pressure on me to convince me that my even by you desired presidency lacks of legitimacy. Well, while I am saying let me join hands of government with the humble Mr. Svangirai because that will deliver some belated dignity to my presidency, do not expect from me that I concede any real power to the opposition. As I said I am personally against such participating of the humble Mr. Svangirai and his party of underdogs and western infiltrated bootlickers. As you know from your own countries: the opposition always want more that is right for them. But even if I wanted to share power with them myself I could not do it because there is a junta in my country and they warned me not to give any of their power to the humble Mr. Svangirai, otherwise they would pic a civil war and slaughter with their disgruntled soldiers half of the population. Nobody can wish such a thing. Just think of all that smell and dirt. Therefore while I am sitting in here with you while the humble Mr. Svangirai has gone outside waiting patiently what you will decide I hope to convince you that you have to put a lot of pressure on the humble Mr. Svangirai so that he will accept conditions which are not at all healthy for him and the opposition while he is coerced into that so called unity government. Please remember that most of  yourselves  have ratteling skeletons in your wardrobes at home and therefore you cannot play the role of the holy democrats here. Thank you.

 

 

 

4. Dear Mr Pesident, your excellency,

 

I don’t know if I can come along with you smoothely as I did with your predecessor. It is not nice that you told me secretly but unmisunderstandably that I had to virtually implement some things I had agreed to, last year. For what? I already without such nonsense of yours have a lot of trouble with that humble Mr. Svangirai. As you are something like the South African ZAPU we hstorically are allies if I may remind you and real allies do not heap nonsens upon each other.

The opposition are always wanting more than they can have. We even had to send a bullet by post to Mr. Biti’s home last week and beat up one of his wards. Do you think I enjoy such things happening? If you think so, you are wrong I assure you. The fact is that I want to be left alone by the opposition – just left alone and do all things as I have them done during the last 29 years. You try to tear me to one direction but the bad men tear me to the other. An old man cannot bear such distressing all the time and I myself are not getting any younger. The bad men in my government are getting on my nerves. I have to pledge them this and that, especially that the humble Mr. Svangirai will not succeed in persuing me in order to make me stick to the global agreement of last year. I do not want to stick myself but these people are tearing me apart. I am an old chap with swollen akles and needy of a rest. Those bad fat men in my government whom I used to call my friends and still call told me if I am letting them down and force them to greet the humble Mr. Svangirai they will not further give me my share of the illegal diamonds. That would mean that my daughter would have to leave her studies in Hongkong and carry on at the UZ, where the toilets are blocked and lecturers missing because of miserable earnings and conditions. That’s unimaginable! Also it would mean that I cannot pour more money into my wonderful “commercial” farm. Without steady money inflow the farm will not work as though I am a genious I am not a farmer, although I desperately want to show off as one to give proof that any stupid bloke can be a commercial farmer.Without the illegal diamonds I will be exposed as a fool who always poured more money into the farm than he got out of it. Do you want your ally exposed as a fool? Please think about the chance to drag your feet on the matter so that the next excellency can take over presiding the SADC. He is even more an ally to me than you are and you could easily behave as a person not involved at all. Just tell him that his complaints are blown out of proportion. Can you please do that favour to an old man? Then I will sing with you “Give me my machine gun”  and we can stay friends for ever.Thank you.

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