How cold is it out there, cde Jonathan Moyo? - Zimbabwe Situation

How cold is it out there, cde Jonathan Moyo?

From ZimbabweSituation Facebook

Discouraging and attacking disgruntled ZANU PF candidates standing as independents while singing for his supper with the warped belief that Tsholotsho North was fait accompli, Jonathan Moyo advised his fellow comrades “it is cold out there, I’ve been there before”.

Little did the opportunist political chameleon know that the rigging machinery would not be ubiquitous. ZANU PF targeted specific constituencies for manipulation but it would appear that Jonathan Moyo was too busy misdirecting his energies elsewhere, forgetting his own backyard! If he did not overestimate his chances, then something was happening in the background that he was totally unaware of.  If indeed he is a strategist as we often hear, then his was a strategy that went awfully wrong. Inonzi tamba wakachenjera!!!

With the two prodigal sons from diametric parts of Zimbabwe, Jonathan Samkange and Munyaradzi Kereke smiling all the way to parliament, what is going on in Jonathan Moyo’s mind? It is time to turn to the master’s benevolence for survival? He has to literally go down on his knees (if he hasn’t done so already) as Chinamasa did after the Dinyane fall-out in order to get any post. Should cabinet be elusive, a diplomatic posting could be an option. In this game, anything is better than nothing.

However, if that were to happen, he would probably be one of the worst diplomats of all time. Probably competing for the top prize with one Reward Marufu who was sent packing by Canadians after disregarding all diplomatic etiquette at every turn.  Yes, you have guessed it right. We happily welcomed him home with a reward of one of the best farms and also gave him a generous package from the War Victims Compensation Fund after his obnoxious claim of disability, courtesy of the Polish-trained medic who masqueraded as medical doctor. If I had any say in Jonathan Moyo’s future, I would probably suggest an ambassadorial posting to Somalia or Afghanistan if the no university accepts him back. Indeed, it would be good riddance of bad rubbish!!!

Challenging his defeat at the hands of Roseline Nkomo, the former legislator appeared to be reciting a script from the MDC’s Book of Electoral Challenge, word for word, when he cited massive irregularities from voter registration, to polling, all the way to the final count.  From the way he attacked the notorious ZEC mafia, you would be forgiven for thinking that he was an MDC candidate who had lost to ZANU PF. What’s good for the goose must be good for the gander, Mr Nutty Professor!

Given our experiences and fresh memory of the past three decades, the “new” cabinet is going to be nothing but simply “more of the same”, to borrow a mantra from Australia’s Tony Abbot. Even deadwood would like to have a piece of the cake as Kumbirai Kangai (or Cde GMB) was destined for. But the living God of Abraham, Jacob and Isaac had sealed his serendipity already.

Taking a cue from Nathan Shamuyarira, principled, pragmatic, intelligent and diligent men such as Eric Matienga know when to say “I’ve played my part, it is time to move on”.

In the house of shame, the looting brigade and vultures will be out in full force to grab whatever they can before sunset. Nobody knows which direction the next leader may wish to take after the grand exit, be that person come from ZANU PF, MDC or Madhuku’s Dreamers Party (MDP). So it is going to be yet another long season of “make hay while the sun shines”

Corruption will continue as before if not worse, lawlessness will soon be a norm and misgovernance will develop new dimensions. The new constitution will be patched until it starts looking like an over-decorated Christmas tree. This is the abnormal that is perfectly normal in the world according to the party formed on 8 August 1963 in Enos Nkala’s house. RIP but makatisiira dambudziko!!

In all this, the greatest and worst sufferer as well as loser will be patients who will find that hospitals revert to being places to die, children who will soon discover that schools resemble museums, civil servants who shall struggle to put food on the table, let alone afford bus fare to and from work, the economy, which will become more and more informal. I can imagine David Coltart, Henry Madzorera and Tendai Biti wondering if they are having a nightmare or watching a horror movie.

Unemployment will skyrocket unabated, supermarkets will look like tuckshops while fuel stations may start advertising “we sell fuel” as if they are designed to sell madora, majuru or harurwa. Ndizvo here zvinodiwa nevanhu?

If we were to spare a brief moment as a nation and kneel down or bow our heads and pray, our prayer should be explicit and specific “Lord, grand President Mugabe the wisdom and courage to listen to his innermost voice and do the right thing for Zimbabwe in his last days”. There is never a wrong time to do the right thing, I believe.

As for the MDC (all variations), there is no better time to do some serious introspection while making that arduous but necessary journey back to the drawing board guided by a very simple but imperative philosophy;  Re-strategise, Re-align, Re-launch.

Moses Chamboko writes in his personal capacity –



  • comment-avatar
    Tjingababili 4 years


  • comment-avatar
    Tjingababili 4 years


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    Naison Nyereyegona 4 years

    Moses, if MDC had won, this is what we would be witnessing by now:- British, American, Canadian, Australian and most European countries’ companies would have invaded our country, snapped up everything, stollen everything, made a lot of money from our resources from which they would take small chunks of money to give back to us, our own money, as aid. There would have been strife in the country!!! We would have been told to tighten our belts as things would get worse before getting better. During the belt tightening period, that is when the capitalist-greed machine would loot our resources after which, having made themselves filthy rich, of course, they would give create a false impression that things were geting better by enjecting some of our stollen money into the economy thereby puting a burden of future generations’ neck with debt. If MDC had won, all the gains of the past 30 years would have been reversed. People on the land would have started to be evicted one by one, starting with those on the so called BIPA lands, then those allegedly owning multiple farms and in the end, whites would reoccupy the land under the guise that the country was restoring agricultural productivity by puting back on the land those who can farm. By the time of the next election, blacks would have been so sujugated to the extent that no one would raise a finger except to watch helplessly as our country’s resources are stripped and stollen from us.

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      furedi 4 years

      A very excellent piece and the humorous bits came through very well Moses. Somehow Naison seems to have just graduated from one of those Border Gezi re-education camps.The hospitals better be functioning because he is brain dead.

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      Washumba 4 years

      You idiot! All those countries you said would come and create lots of work for us suffering rather than serve a handful of people while we are all suffering. You must know that we don’t need anymore under whatever circumstances. U think if these whites don’t buy the diamond what will you do with it. Taneta nehudzvanyiriri hwenyu hunokunda hwaSmith.

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      Tich 4 years

      Chinese are the worst colonial masters ever, worse than those you mentioned. for that past 15 years they have been the man on ground but all they managed to do was to lubricate the ZPF looting machinery and they are the ultimate grand winners. Ngatisabatwai kumeso vakomana vanhu havatide ava, ZPF, they misguide you for their own benefit. They are just retaliating coz they were denied the opportunity to go shopping in those expensive western malls and designer shops. Dai zvisizvo why cry always about sunctions ivo vanhu vanopihwa red carpet reception kueast. we thought east will replace west and life goes on. all the noise about sunctions now is to justify non performance by their government, coverup for their looting and you buy that trash.

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      adam jones 4 years

      uchapenga iwe

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      Lindy Forster 4 years

      The only “Filthy AND RIch” is your bloody lot.Who built the country eh?What has happened during the last 33 years eh? The so called Colonialists have been replaced by the Chinese.Take a long hard look at Zimbabwe which once was a beautiful country with happy people,smiling kiddies with flesh on their bones.Now a bloody hell hole for most of the populace.Don’t even attempt to blame sanctions,there are NO sanctions against Zimbabwe as a nation only the thieves and harlots who are raping the country.Enjoy your life mate and may God bless the beautiful true people of my beloved country.

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    Jogo Bonita 4 years

    Well said.

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    tsaona 4 years

    Wabaya dede nemukanwa,,

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    Kevin Watson 4 years

    No university will accept Jonathan Moyo because he is wanted for defrauding a university in Kenya and another in South Africa. What he needs is a diplomatic passport otherwise he will be unable to shop anywhere but Zimbabwe.

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    ngwalongwalo 4 years

    Yes, indeed good riddance of bad rubbish

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    Chitova weGona 4 years

    Well said Mr.

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    MATOPE 4 years

    excellent piece! We await to see with keen interest how this chameleon Jonathan Moyo will reinvent itself!

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    shumba liverpool 4 years

    True predictions. We can only sit back and watch the rot.. pity

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    Chigango 4 years

    Naison Nyereyegona must be blind and stupid – has he not noticed the huge influx of Chinese into Africa? All part of a well planned strategy to re-colonise Africa in a way the world has never yet seen. A Silent Army if you may – in less than a 100 years from now Africans won’t have a say in anything on this continent, and when the Chinese tell them to jump, the only way the African will be able to respond is by saying “How high my baas”. So sad yet so true, and the Chinese will be worse colonisers than the British, French, Belgians, Germans, Italians etc just look at China’s current human rights record. Africa is in for a rude awakening, and Mugabe’s ‘Look East’policy has only beneffited him personally and his generals.

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    Changamire Leo 4 years

    A good piece keep it up.

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    Oo nhai 4 years

    Naison, you fool!! Have you been to South Africa lately? There you will see the western imperialist companies providing jobs and wealth for all of the country. The scenario you paint is just so ridiculous that you must have had one to one lessons with Chinotimba himself!! Eish.

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    adam jones 4 years

    Its already starting to happen. I hear ZESA are warning of further load sheading and banks are retioning cash. So soon after the Zanu ‘victory’? Chichigere kuona – khona kuzaba nzima. Imagine with the likes of Chinos in charge. God forbid. This time the international community will really turn the screw. SADC cannot help Zimbabwe. They are part of our problem. They protect Mugabe so that he can protect them when they rig their own elections.