Is there no end to the circus obtaining in our country? We read from the usual sources — the State-owned rags — that the Pfeesident and a passel of other losing presidential pretenders in last year’s harmonised election met at State House under the auspices of what is being mischievously referred to as the national dialogue, with a photo-opp to show for it.
It is all the more curious that only recently the pfeesident, his minions and underlings have been swearing up and down that Zany PF won elections with five quarters of the votes.
What is worse, the regime has been lifting a lot of irreverent fingers to Nelson Chamisa who has been calling for national dialogue.
Now the same pfeesident has finally relented without wanting to be seen losing face.
He called for dialogue on his own terms and invited other rank-losers to the so-called national dialogue as an ill-disguised way to clothe it with a contrived national apparel when he knows at the back of his mind that the other pretenders are only there to make the numbers, or rather there is nothing to be gained from those pedestrians.
What is the motivation behind the latest volte face, especially after the earlier posturing against the idea?
Is the calling of the national dialogue an inadvertent admission that the goings are getting tough for the clueless regime, what with a comatose economy and a restless citizenry?
We have to admit that this is novel, since the dawn of politics, that people who claim to have won elections invite the “losers” asking for ideas to take the nation forward.
The mind boggles
Most discerning Zimbabweans are asking themselves what was the criteria used to select or to arrive to the criteria used to invite the people who attended the State House’s notional dialogue.
Was it exclusive to presidential losers only or to any presidential pretender who contested elections last year?
Does is it not stand to reason that as a country, we hold an inclusive dialogue not this exclusive dialogue limited to politicians alone?
Missing from the State House shindig, was my favourite presidential pretender, Tinashe Jonas of the Ideal Zimbabwe party, who unfortunately failed to contest elections last year.
For the uninitiated, Jonas catapulted himself to international infamy when he went ballistic on the defunct Gupta-run TV channel, ‘ANN7’, programme in South Africa when one of the panellists showed up donning ED’s scarf.
Jonas lost what marbles he had left in his skull and physically divested the owner, a Zanu PF supporter of some variety, of his ridiculous scarf, setting the noses of anchor and other panellists out of joint.
If Jonas was not at State House, one wonders, why most of the hopeless also-rans attended or were invited at all because they belong to the same WhatsApp group — to use the prevailing parlance.
Zany PF’s number two enemy, the much-maligned social media, was awash with memes of presidential pretenders like the indefatigable and inimitable Cde Egipita Dzinemunhenzva also making it to the dialogue at State House, although he was not there.
At least this shows what the public thought of the so-called dialogue — a mere joke of people who had nothing to do with their time.
Who would not want to be invited to the country’s Number 1 residency for a cup of coffee and some doughnuts especially under the prevailing economic conditions?
Lying in defence of a lie
It looks like the Zimbabwean establishment has not heard the statement that you can fool some people sometimes but you cannot fool everyone every time.
At a time when the public trust in the military is at its lowest ebb, the army exhumed one of its most garrulous mouths, Major-General Douglas Nyikayaramba, from wherever he has been hiding to come back and do its public relations, not least after a murderous campaign in the aftermath of the January 14 protests.
Nyikayaramba, who was at one time Mugabe’s most trusted military mouth, was seemingly passed over for promotion following the mass promotion of some military personnel after the coup.
He is now being known as Inspector-General — whatever that means.
He was last heard of or seen in public in 2017 before the coup, only to resurface now telling us that “peace and order has been restored.”
He was reported in The Horrid saying, “They broke into police armouries stealing weapons and ammunition. Had the military not come in support of the ZRP, one wonders whether the whole country would not have been looted that day.”
The matter became a talking point in Parliament and another Zany PF motor mouth who is also the deputy minister of Defence Victor Matemadanda contradicted Nyikayaramba’s statement in Parliament, debunking the terminological in exactitude that armouries had been broken into.
On the morrow, the army through the Horrid sought to clear its own hot air over the alleged raids report and pinned blame on “media polarisation which caused some writers to deliberately twist the facts.”
“At no point during the press conference did the Major-General make reference to ZDF armouries being run over or raided by civilians.
“Major-General Nyikayaramba made no reference to army establishments, worst of all armouries, being run over.
“This discourse will suit accurately in the narrative of those Zimbabweans who are bent on creating despondency and insecurity in the country,” the Horrid reported.
Who is being fooled here? Were all Zimbabweans born yesterday or after the coup? Once beaten …, they once tricked us about criminals surrounding Mugabe, we will not be hoodwinked by more half backed lies.
The pfeesident’s mask is falling off, we are slowly having a good peek into the real man who pilfered power ridding on the back of army.
His painfully uninspiring, interview on France 24, on the side-lines of the African Union Summit was a dead give-away to the man that he is.
Everyone must have been shocked to watch the pfeesident’s soporific ‘France24’ interview where he flatly denied the murders and rape committed by the military in the aftermath of the January 14 protests.
He said he wanted evidence. However, when he and his acolytes accused Mugabe of being surrounded by criminals they wanted us to believe them although not much was proffered by the way of evidence, some of the accused have been prosecuted on account of farcical reasons like wearing zany regalia without the party’s approval .
“We have only one single case that came out in Chitungwiza, the rest we now know that the women that were paraded were just a make-up by some organisations and some have left the country, have been shipped to the UK (United Kingdom).
“The few who are still in the country are being moved from house to house and we are trying to track them down, but it’s all stage-managed. We are challenging anyone local or foreign to produce them, so that we see them and the world can see them as we say this is what happened,” he told ‘France 24’.
The pfeesident does not get, does he? How does one go to seek help from the perpetrator?
Is it not analogous to an injured goat seeking help from a hyena which it escaped from? The pfeesident also blamed regime change for all his problems.
Is it not too early in his tenure for him to be blaming the West for all his troubles? When pressed to name the countries helping to foment disturbances in Zimbabwe, the pfeesident was coy to come up with any tangible name.
“We have not offended anyone what we are doing is good for our people,” the pfeesident bizarrely added.
Does he not see that presiding over a regime which kills fellow compatriots is not good for any one, it is not only a criminal offence but evil?
I am not sure if Mbuya Nehanda’s bones are resting in peace at all with such vile leadership.