Shouts of vitality

via Shouts of vitality | The Zimbabwean 16 July 2014 by Jera

South African president Jacob Zuma, who miraculously won a second term despite pre-election allegations of using R230 million of public funds to renovate his rural home, has dismissed rumours of ill-health circulating in the media.

“I’m as healthy as anything… in fact my doctors said young people are going to envy you if they knew how healthy you are,” he says. If there is any illness in Sadc it is that there is an outbreak of wellness among the top politicians.

The erudite Robert Mugabe, who obviously knows more similes than Zuma, constantly declares himself ‘fit as a fiddle’ – even though no-one has ever tested a stringed instrument for its fitness.

Mugabe, an orator two decades ago, now struggles to follow his written speech, dozes at important summits and was seen twisting his papers this way and that way, as he attempted to make out the words of his Independence Day speech through a pair of cloudy eyes. Recently, First lady, Grace charged at a photo journalist when he attempted to film the Mugabes at a hospital in Singapore, screaming ‘don’t take photo!’

Mugabe’s top strongman Augustine Chihuri capsized with nobody touching him. The ZRP Commissioner General fainted at a pass-out parade for police cadets. When he regained consciousness, he muttered something about his shoe and tight-fitting clothes. At the time, the top cop had on several items of clothing – like some sort of shoplifter – under his uniform. Perhaps the extra layers of clothes help him fill out his uniform.

MDC rebel, Tendai Biti has also added his healthy voice to the ongoing shouts of vitality: “I am not sick but obviously will not dignify their malice.”