The return of Robert Mugabe 

The return of Robert Mugabe 

Source: The return of Robert Mugabe – The Standard June 10, 2018

My People, I have always said it. And I will continue to say it. That the great Robert Mugabe will one day return to rule this country.


It could be the great Gushungo himself making a second bite of the cherry to rule this country, or his representatives such as myself Dr Amai or even Chatunga himself.

If that cannot happen, Gushungo will still rule from the grave as I once famously said at a million man and woman march in Harare.

At the same rally of forced attendies from rural areas, idiotic suggestions such as having  a 90-something old man being made a life president were suggested in between puffs of marijuana and gulps of smuggled expensive whisky.

I have always known that Zimbabweans have been in mourning since those soldiers illegally left the barracks after being misled into toppling a constitutionally elected dynasty.

That is the reason why all of you were galvanised into action to ensure that this disgrace was challenged.

Before long, cousin Ambrose Mutinhiri had resigned from the party and joined by colourful characters such as Jerasi Mawarire in the NPF project.

But can you believe the greatest ironies of all time?

That in his moment of need, after having been rejected by his partners in crime, the Great Gushungo, Robert Mugabe, will be thrown a lifeline by his nemesis, the world’s most democratic party, the Movement for Democratic Change.

Many MDC supporters were murdered for supporting the party, some were maimed, thousands had homes set on fire, even more thousands were displaced due to threats of violence, millions of MDC supporters fled as either economic or political refugees for daring to oppose Gushungo.

But in the spirit of Lizard Ngwena’s meaningless slogan, let’s let bygones be bygones and unite as Zimbabweans.

That is why former MDC supporters tormentor-in-chief, Jim Kunaka of Chipangano, can now cozy up with Alliance leaders.

For there is more that unites us than divides us.

Hence, all of you should keep your ears close to the ground for any updates.

Let us not allow those who want to abuse an innocent business partnership between your real First Family’s Gushungo Dairies  and Nero.

What is important is that as united Zimbabweans, we need to forge a very strong alliance where Gushungo or his representative, especially me, will sit beside other alliance leaders.

After all, most of those useless political parties only brought leaders to the alliance as they do not have supporters.

Only Welshman and Nero have supporters. I will also bring my millions of G40 supporters, something that should entitle me to at least a vice-presidency.

Of course, if the young fellow has any advisers, which I doubt, he should keep in mind the age-old saying about too many cooks spoiling the broth.

For very soon, this week at least, the cooks will start fighting with cooking sticks with the pot expected to boil over around nomination court and beyond.

Lizard Ngwena has no solutions for Zimbabwe

I am sure all of you have come to the realisation that Dhakisi Ngwena is all quack and no action.

All he can do is to regret that despite putting more money in circulation, it is still not available for ordinary Zimbabweans.

Last time we checked, Comrade Jerasi Mawarire was making all sorts of allegations, including that a relative of Dhakisi Ngwena receives bond notes so that he buys foreign currency for the government.

This basically means to them, the ordinary people, whose votes they are demanding come July 30, are not on their priority list.

The only “success” Dhakisi can claim is that of immobilising MDC- run urban local authorities through excessive interferences, then using state coffers to resurface a few roads, especially the one leading to his house then claiming to be delivering good services to the people. Nonsense.

I was intrigued by an ongoing survey.

It has a very simple question.

Which political party has the richest leaders and the poorest supporters?

The levels of poverty among its supporters must be so bad to the point of brawling for dollar for five T-shirts.

News briefs

It is generally not an easy task to follow what Dr Shenanaguns speaks about, especially when the revorushunari is speaking in English.

But we clearly understood what he was talking about when he presided over the passing-out of security organisations.

I think he was speaking  about our miritari being respected rokari, rijinari and internashinari.

Get Chamisa some advisors

We all know that Dhakisi Ngwena has no advisors. He only listens to instructions from Dr Shenanaguns.

The arrogance was oozing out of his pores as he was introducing Dhakisi in Mutoko.

My point is about Chamisa appearing not to have any advisors.

If he does not have any, he should get some as soon as possible.

If he has any advisors, he should fire them for not doing any work.

They should have advised him that he should never aspire to emulate people like Paul Kagame, who has manipulated his country’s constitution to stay in power, arrested political opponents while those in exile have been murdered.

Exactly the kind of thing not to aspire to.

Of course, it goes without saying that you cannot take potshots at your colleagues in the alliance by virtue of having a monopoly of the microphone.

The Horrid newspaper can’t spell

It was interesting and touching how Zimbabweans had contributed their resources to assist one of Zimbabwe’s luminaries in soccer, Ali Baba Dube.

The Horrid, through one of its senior journalists,  described it as “pulling” their resources together.

They probably meant “pooling” together.

Gushungo Pfeee!

Munhuwese kuna Gushungo!

Gire Panyanga!!!

Dr Amai Stopit! PhD (Fake

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