Everybody hates Chris

via Everybody hates Chris | The Zimbabwean 27 August by Jera

The corridors of power at Zanu (PF) HQ are abuzz with the question, ‘what shall we do with Christopher Mutsvanga?’ The deputy minister has ruffled one too many feathers, having twice publicly disagreed with his boss, Simbarashe Mumbengegwi and, more recently, skewered party heavyweights, Joice Mujuru and Didymus Mutasa.

Without even bothering to whisper, Mutsvanga alleges Mujuru’s Rhodesian helicopter shooting is a fable and about Mutasa’s liberation war contribution, he more or less said Didymus was hiding out in the comfort of England while bullets whizzed through the air back at home. It is hard to believe Mutsvanga was once a diplomat. He made a living from keeping good relations. But here he is stepping on powerful toes at every opportunity.

What is hilarious is that nobody made a big deal of it when Mutsvanga mouthed off to Mumbengegwi. But now that he has picked a fight with Uncle Gamatox, who should step forward to whip Mutsvanga back into line? The nephew of the Gamatox man – that one who charges millions of dollars for one helicopter tour – Temba Mliswa, party chairman for Mashwest Province.

If only one could be a fly on the wall inside Zanu (PF)’s halls right now! This is a place where kidnaps are plotted, elections are Nikuved, where voter’s roll mysteriously vanishes and little girls are abducted for the purposes of ritual killing by election candidates. Anything to maintain a crocodile bite on power.

“Who doesn’t want power? We all want power,” says Kembo Mohadi

The home affairs minister summed up the men and women of Zanu (PF), speaking on his intention to run for the VP post ahead of the December congress. Anywhere else in the world, a politician might have been more tactful, by saying, ‘it is an honour to serve the country and the position of VP would enable me to serve the people.’

Deputy Chairperson of Zanu (PF) youth, Edson Takataka, was pummelled by party members for supporting Grace Mugabe’s endorsement for the Secretary for Women’s Affairs in the party’s politburo. The details are not important. All we know is the gang members are turning on each other.

To someone unfamiliar with the story of Zanu (PF)’s 34 year rule, all of this might sound like a Nollywood drama but it is Zimbabwe’s reality. It is said every cloud has a silver lining. If there is any glimmer of silver in the storm cloud brewing over Zimbabwe ahead of the Zanu (PF) December elective congress, it is that there will soon be fewer predators left among the gazelles. Because power means so much to them that they will soon devour each other.


  • comment-avatar
    avenger/revenger 8 years ago

    Na’angas are making a killing throwing bones and inhaling snuff to attract zanoid misfits

  • comment-avatar
    mike paterson 8 years ago

    I like Chris.