State of the nation: Same old dung

via State of the nation: Same old dung | The Zimbabwean 13.11.13 by Jera

President Robert Mugabe is feeling the heat. Zanu (PF) duped voters into believing it could create 2 million jobs and, through its empowerment drive, put all of us on par with Donald Trump.

At a party central committee meeting, Mugabe demanded to see results, calling for less meetings, less travel and more action. His comments come after an epidemic of touring broke out among cabinet ministers seeking to create an impression of industriousness: Parirenyatwa touring hospitals, Moyo touring media houses, Mpofu touring NRZ, Moyo, Mzembi touring Hwange national park. Mugabe said, ‘people will say what’s happening in agriculture? No change. The factories are not coming up… our roads are still the same.’

The cabinet is essentially the same old dung sprinkled with the scent of candy and repackaged as Swiss chocolate. For Mugabe to expect bovine excrement to suddenly take on the taste and quality of chocolate can only be the result of senility. Or ageing taste buds.

The Truth Emerges

State-owned cellular services provider NetOne has launched OneWallet, a money transfer service. Information technology minister, Webster Shamu said NetOne lags behind due to bureaucracy in government. It suddenly becomes clear why Munyaradzi Kereke of Zanu (PF) attempted, like a Chihuahua barking pointlessly at the heels of an elephant, to thwart Econet Wireless, whose product, EcoCash Save, he labelled ‘illegal.’

Tomfoolery in Parliament

Cubs grow into lions, pups into dogs. Boys, well boys grow into bigger boys. There were scenes akin to a playground argument in Parliament as legislators, feeding off the blood of taxpayers, exchanged ‘your mama’ insults. Kwekwe central MP, Masango Matambanadzo said MDC-T parliamentarians, who mock him for being uneducated, were unruly elements who urinated in dinner plates at university. He said they received ‘mafia intelligence’ training from the West. Speaker Jacob Mudenda had to play headmaster, issuing warming to the naughty boys, following an uproar from the MDC-T. While this makes for a good beerhall joke, one has to ask if anything constructive can come from this lot.

Mission Accomplished

The tedious saga of MDC-T’s Morgan Komichi’s trial has finally ended. Komichi was convicted of fraud and contravening the Electoral Act, after presenting ballots (to ZEC) which he claimed to have found in a rubbish bin. The judge said Komichi intended to discredit ZEC – as if ZEC needs any help in that department. To date only Registrar General Tobaiwa Mudede has seen the voters roll. It has always been Zanu (PF)’s strategy to neutralise threats towards elections. Komichi is free on a suspended sentence, which is no surprise – ‘mission accomplished.’ The election is done.

The Bulldozers Return

Ignatius Chombo is not satisfied with making 700,000 people homeless in 2005. His second Murambatsvina has begun in Ruwa where council destroyed structures deemed illegal. Conveniently Zanu (PF) waited until after July 31 elections (as they did after 2005 parliamentary polls) before embarking on this compassionless exercise. Chombo’s deputy, Joel Matiza, showing a complete absence of human emotion, said government will not reverse its decision. Many will be left homeless and others with no income after houses and tuck-shops – their livelihoods – have been destroyed. And all this from a party that promised to create jobs, not destroy them.

All this madness began with the chaotic land reform. Zanu (PF) created homelessness and destitution. Jobless people who had survived on agriculture migrated to cities, causing accommodation shortage, which probably pleased property moguls like Chombo. Businesses linked to agriculture foundered, causing more job losses. Jobless people, unable to compete for the few available houses, found the solution in building their own homes. No action occurs without triggering a reaction somewhere else in the universe – cause and effect.

Old Horses

Public service minister, Nicholas Goche, has given reasons for Tobaiwa Mudede (70) remaining in office after retirement age. Goche quoted chapter and verse from the constitution, uttering words like ‘pensionable age is not retirement age.’ Please! We know Mugabe is a debonair gent and does not like to see one speck of dust on his shoes. Traffic rushing over dilapidated roads raises a lot of dust. Bob needs all the bootlickers available. That is why Mudede and 60 year old Rrrrreuben Barwe – his shoe shine crew – have not been sent to the knacker’s yard, despite their combined age of 130 years.

Travesty of Justice

Five Zanu (PF) members from Kadoma have been convicted of kidnapping a pair of nine-year-old twins, intending to kill them for some dastardly ritual that they believed would guarantee victory in the July 31 urban council elections. Fortunately the witchdoctor – this is by no means a ‘healer’ but a witchdoctor – did not go through with the ceremony as he felt a strong force protecting the children.

Most of the accused received jail sentences of less than six months and their ringleader, Dominic Musapurwa, received 15 months, six suspended. The courts are there to protect the weak and people do not come any weaker than two little girls. These people – and to call them ‘people’ is merely out of convention, for they showed no human qualities – have escaped lightly.

The worst fear for any parent is losing a child and a family came within inches of buying two caskets. Killing out of necessity or impulse – like in a robbery gone bad – is one thing but to hunt and stalk two defenceless girls, like prey, is the pinnacle of ruthlessness. Is a seat on the council of a little town, one with only a single traffic light, so important that people would resort to coldblooded, premeditated murder!

At the same time, we see headlines announcing that two poachers found in possession of a pair of elephant tusks have each received 9 years in jail. And two people convicted of the petty offence of DVD piracy have received 6 months – the same sentence for child killers! – proving that, by Zimbabwean court system, killing an elephant for its teeth or bootlegging CDs is more objectionable than attempting to kill children. There is something seriously wrong.

Ministry of Not-So Childcare

Three children have died after taking the Ministry of Health and Childcare’s bilharzia vaccine. An investigation would have been wiser, before resuming immunisation but permanent secretary for the ministry, Dr Gerald Gwinji, showing no childcare at all, said vaccination will continue. Bilharzia causes stunted growth and, frankly, shortness of height is nothing compared to child death. Some parents have withdrawn from the immunisation. In other parts of the world, somebody in authority would have fallen on his sword, or faced an avalanche of litigation.

Penniless Patrick

Finance minister, Patrick Chinamasa, says he needs more time to construct the 2014 national budget and added ‘possibly in December.’ Chinamasa also said government will enter into a payment plan with former MPs, to whom allowances are still owed. A spade will never be a spoon, so let’s call it a spade. There is absolutely no money and the man is pulling out what’s left of his hair, attempting to make money out of thin air. Oh Gideon, where is your billion-quintillion printing machine when your boss needs it.

Till next week, my pen is capped. Jera@workmail.com

COMMENTS

WORDPRESS: 16
  • comment-avatar
    Tjingababili 8 years ago

    SAME OLD POOH /MTDOKO

  • comment-avatar
    Boss MyAss 8 years ago

    As long as a significant portion of the population feels marginalised, trashed and left out, Zimbabwe is going nowhere very fast. Even the much touted Zim Asset economic blueprint will soon be proved to be an exercise in political futility; a dodgy and utterly misdirected trajectory into socio-economic kwashiorkor.We remain our own enemies with regards to policies that are implemented. Zimbabweans resort to stealing and taking advantage of each other whenever a crisis occurs. They never try to find the root of the problem, let alone try to solve it. There is nothing we Zimbabweans don’t find acceptable, however gross. The evil Zanu pf well knows that the Zimbabwean people can be stretched to the breaking point but can still find odd ways to survive.

    • comment-avatar
      Chivulamapoti 8 years ago

      Hey BossMyAss, at least you are fortunate, like a camel, it looks as though you’ll live off that ass for years to come! ha! ha!

      • comment-avatar
        Boss MyAss 8 years ago

        No my brother, we all live( at least the most of us excluding the well known ones) on the same sank boat. This mess applies for me as well.

  • comment-avatar
    Washumba 8 years ago

    Everybody knows the solution to Zimbabwean problem, but nobody wants to imprement it free and fair elections like 1980 and the problem is solved.

    • comment-avatar
      MikeH 8 years ago

      And what precisely was free and fair about 1980, which was when mugabe&co started the rot.

  • comment-avatar
    Chivulamapoti 8 years ago

    The Solution to Zimbabwe’s, “Cry, my Beloved Country’s problem Washumba, is Mugarbage and ZPF’s DEATH! That’s all!

  • comment-avatar

    Take them out one at a time

  • comment-avatar
    Redemption 8 years ago

    Zanu pf has been stealing elections from 2000. Look at the state of roads, infrastructure, hospitals etc. Some badly potholed roads are being stripped n now dustroads. The city centre is littered n dirty with people competing for road space, motorists now have to give way to pedestrians.

    The reality is now dawning on Zanu pf, they have been basking in the shadows of the liberation struggle n living in the past.

  • comment-avatar
    gundura 8 years ago

    all you guyz are hypiocrites yuou voted for zanu pf

    • comment-avatar
      MikeH 8 years ago

      Absolute rubbish, can only assume you are a mugabe&co boot-licker.

  • comment-avatar
    Wise up 8 years ago

    Robbery Gabbage and Zanupf clique who want to nationalise everything exist in this country and our homes they think they are the only people within zanupf rigging party let the ones who follow them suffer they think they own the country

    • comment-avatar
      B.Mathe 8 years ago

      MY FELLOW COUNTRY MEN LETS TIGHTEN OUR BELTS UNTIL WE CHOP OFF OUR WAISTS FOR THE NEXT 5 YRS MARK MY WORDS THERE WILL BE NOTHING LEFT AND NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT IN THE COUNTRY UNTIL WE MOBILISE MASS ACTION AS CIVILIANS WITH A VOTE OF NO CONFIDENCE IN THE GOVERNMENT. WE JUST HAVE TO UNITE SACRIFICE AND STAND OUR GROUND LIKE WHAT BOB MARLEY USE TO SING ABOUT OTHERWISE FORGET ANY CHANGE THROUGH THE BALLOT.CIVIL WAR IS NOT THE BEST OF OPTIONS BUT AT THIS RATE BOB IS CALLING FOR IT.

  • comment-avatar

    Where is diamonds money? When Wanachi (Biti) was the minister of finance all the zanu people from the top to bottom. From mugabe to mabhurukwa in Mukumbura. Used to say Biti he don’t want to release money. U even call for his head. Hw many times the war vets demostrates at his offices. If i may ask where are u now? U were beening pushed to do that. Zvinotapira kana zviri kwasugar kana zvava kwasauti zvavava.

    Im only happy that mugabe is not God. Remember one day is one day. The chicken will come home for roast. Who is better Chinamasa and Wanachi (Biti). As they say u can rig elections but u cannot rig the economy. Until next time (dankie)

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    Mafuta 8 years ago

    Really–a bilharzia vaccine?? You can’t vaccinate against parasites. This is medical fraud.