Africa’s greatest living Englishman reduced to idiot status

via Africa’s greatest living Englishman reduced to idiot status | Columnists | BDlive BY SIMON LINCOLN READER

THAT Robert Mugabe is hopping mad is not surprising. His Ghanaian first wife’s family kept his (then) siphoned loot in that country when she died; his second wife behaves like a cross between Imelda Marcos and Linda Lovelace.

The media accuses him of being much older than he actually is; he despises black peasants — in a black country largely reduced to peasantry; and travel bans keep him from his beloved London tailors and the landed gentry (whom he considers his peers). Wouldn’t you be spitting spinal fluid?

When they are not indignantly describing their own president as “Showerhead” on web forums, there are white South Africans who recklessly perpetuate the myth that Mugabe is entirely responsible for the vote riggings, rapes, farm invasions and theft of mineral rights in Zimbabwe. Of course he’s the face of a dictatorship, but the real perpetrator of terror is the Joint Operations Command, the pre-independence brutality machine that still survives. It commissions shadowy Israelis to lobby against sanctions in Washington. It uses food parcels and prepaid phone vouchers to incentivise disaffected youths to rape opposition MPs. It tells blatant whoppers that indigenisation will advance the lives of Zimbabwe’s poor. Africa’s greatest living Englishman has been reduced to a useful idiot.

It is also these South Africans who, when they’re not preventing vineyard-wrecking baboons from being shot (in the name of progress), suggest that South Africa should invade Zimbabwe and effect regime change. Even if this were a remote possibility — with what? Weapons we don’t know how to discharge or Gripen jets we don’t know how to fly? Imagine the headlines: “SA invades Zim, drops broken submarine on leafy suburb of Borrowdale, Swiss fail to intervene.”

Still, regime change isn’t entirely impossible. Two emerging developments can be used to construct hypotheses.

To get a glimpse of the true Zimbabwean economy, one only needs assess its oil consumption — a paltry 15,000 barrels a day, significantly less than pre-2000 levels. It’s precarious: 70% of this oil arrives from South Africa and the remainder, wretchedly, via Mozambique. Now, as reluctant as the African National Congress (ANC) is to intervene, this could change were the Zanu PF to recognise the Economic Freedom Fighters as its policy equal (and thus its spiritual equal too).

Such recognition would establish unprecedented antagonism between liberation movements. The most logical ANC response would be to avoid overt aggression and simply thwart the oil supply. Zanu PF is not particularly good at averting disasters, many of which it thrusts upon itself — food, genocide and health, to name a few. Oil, however, is primary to the Joint Operations Command’s survival, and without it the security and military apparatus would be weakened. It is unlikely that big Western oil would come to Mugabe’s aid as BP did during Ian Smith’s sanctions-ridden premiership, and even the Chinese wouldn’t be able to expand supply through Mozambique in time to save Zanu PF.

The second hypothesis is less subtle but no less consequential. Last week, reporters of the UK Times newspaper dived for cover after exposing a deal Zimbabwe had allegedly signed with Iran to export high-grade uranium. Iran’s claim of using nuclear energy exclusively for power generation has been discredited. It wants to bomb Israel.

What makes this scenario intriguing is the presence of Israelis in Zimbabwe: it’s no secret they are up to their necks in the diamond fields of Mutare. It is even alleged that an Israeli security firm called Nikuv International Projects recently applied a type of technology to the electoral roll that turned one voter into 100,000. The Israeli government and its supporters would take considerable exception to a mischievous arrangement with Iran. If the remaining few Zimbabwean nuclear scientists started dropping mysteriously, South Africa, with all its mothballed jets and crashed submarines, would be well advised not to play hero.

This is all speculation, of course. Besides, there is no guarantee that regime change would meet overexcited expectations, especially after the revelation that Morgan Tsvangirai allegedly accepted $100m from Zanu PF in 2009 and snapped up a house in Perth, overlooking the yacht club, that is now valued at R70m. Meanwhile, the leader of the smaller opposition Movement for Democratic Change faction, Arthur Mutambara, has a lack of gravitas that has seen him dressed in a suit accompanied by a cap worn back to front.

Unless South African power utility Eskom allows Zimbabwe to reopen its account and scraps its current pre-paid electricity sales arrangement, I can’t see the value in being angry about Zimbabwe, despite its pervasive tragedies. Robert Mugabe is angry enough for all of us.

via Africa’s greatest living Englishman reduced to idiot status | Columnists | BDlive.

COMMENTS

WORDPRESS: 19
  • comment-avatar
    Johno 7 years ago

    Seemingly amusing and humorous ifnot a little too philosophical for the average minded.There are a lotof pertinent issues hidden behind that sarcasm.

    • comment-avatar
      george shava 7 years ago

      YOU ARE AN IDIOT THIS ARTICLE ARTICULATES WHAT IRATE ZANU PF MINDS DO NOT WHAT TO HEAR. THE TIME IS NIGH YOU FOOL

  • comment-avatar
    Kagona j 7 years ago

    Zvakaoma, too riddled for the ordinary mind to deduce.

  • comment-avatar
    Shame 7 years ago

    @SIMON LINCOLN READER
    Ko munozvinetserei nezimbabwe? Did anybdy ask for your opinion? Stay in your country and let Zimbabweans stay in their’s. Imperialsim will not be coming back to Africa again. Swallow your humiliation. We are done with long noses and pink pigment.
    Cherio

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      Pachokwadi 7 years ago

      Shame, shame on you. You still judging people by colour of skin. Black white pink or brown we should leave together. Its not right for a white man to discriminate
      A black man neither is it okey for a black man to discriminate a white man. We are all humans and we have same emotions and needs alike. In zimbabwe the majority are black. We are an indipendent country but still to gain our freedom.

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        Seiko 7 years ago

        Haa tibvireipo apo iwe! Pachokwadi pei? Hausati wambotundirwa nemuzungu iwe. Wakambogara kunyika dzavo here? Murungu haambofa akagamuchira munhu mutema seakaenzana naye. At least in their countries that behaviour can be tolerated. But when it’s my own God-given back yard, puma! Ngazvidzokere kwazvakabva. So far R.G. Mugabe is the only African leader who has sought to bring real economic independence to indegeneous people.

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          nesbert 7 years ago

          Iwe Seiko you are an idiot Mugabe is worse than the white man when it comes to ill treat other people. Which economic independence are you talking about in a country where we are suffering more than before even the political independence. Tikwanire

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          Rudadiso 7 years ago

          Seiko, and this Robert Mugabe is also the only African leader to slaughter 20 000 of his own black civilians for being of a different ethnic group. Also holds the world record for the destroying a vibranteeconomy at the fastest rate ever for a country not at war. He also holds the record for the highest number of people to die of cholera in the 21st century. So clearly he is a man of many firsts.

          • comment-avatar
            Seiko 7 years ago

            Without going into detail, apparently there are many of us who think like me, who are convinced that Mugabe is the right leader for Zimbabwe this time around, as evidenced by the recently concluded election. For 20 years without interference from the West, Mugabe did good for Zimbabwe, schools, hospitals etc, to the extent that you, are one of many who obtained a good education, the best in Africa. But maybe now, you, a qualified teacher or technician, is doing a menial job in S.A.because of illegal sanctions invited by Tsvangirai which were the reason for the economic meltdown.

    • comment-avatar
      Kevin Watson 7 years ago

      The problem is that you Zimbabweans do not stay in your country there are an estimated 2m here in South africa. When they all go home then we might stop bothering about Zimbabwe. However as South Africa is supporting not only those who are in South Africa but their extended families back in Zimbabwe, it is simple maths to state that South Africa provides more jobs and sustains more Zimbabweans than does Zimbabwe. So why don’t you get your act together and rid yourself of the cause of your problems Zanu PF and Robert Mugabe.

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        chris black 7 years ago

        Hey kevin watson..you are far from your country with that kind of name..what african tribe is that watson clan from..unless you are an black american who had his name stripped from him id say you are the person not in his country..you have a date when your ancestors came to shore..lol..a lion in the london zoo does not make it a British lion..guess if you live in china you turn chinese

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    Murairwa 7 years ago

    What bothers Simon and the likes, truthfully, I do not know. Why can’t they leave Zimbabwe alone with our foolishness and see where we will be in 10 years from now. Zimbabwe will be a very prosperous country. R. G. Mugabe’s policies will be riding everyone who participated in them home. A new model will emergy offering a lot for fellow Africans and the world. We have enough riches please leave us alone with our wise leader. A principled man who loves himself and his people dearly. For his foresight, they hate him. For their love to hate black people they punish him. Long live mudhara Mugabe.

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      Rudadiso 7 years ago

      Murairwa, when exactly did Mugabe start loving his people? How come he massacred 20 000 of them between 1981 and 1987.

      And by the way, how is it possible that a man who took over a prosperous economy when he was 57 and worked tirelessly to bring it to it’s knees can all of a sudden, at an official age of 89, have a new model that will miraculously turn thr economy around.?

    • comment-avatar

      Are u kidding me? Did Mugabe’s government only come into power recently? This is the sort of language, hogwash that Zanu has been using as a political weapon and successifuly so, painting any criticism of its bad governance as some imperial-west-orchestrated agenda against blacks..C’mon we all know that’s not the case. People want good governance, food on their table,. Don’t expect Zanu pf to change anything for the better of anyone except itself and those connected to it. As you are probably aware,,a “large” parliament is coming into effect soon,,more money in their pockets. Unfortunately change of habits won’t come with this “old ways” of doing things.Very sad to imagine there level minded people there who cannot farthom change!!.

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    Simon 7 years ago

    Murairwa its the chinese and mugabes lot that are enjoying the fruits of zimbabwe. The actual poor zimbo is worse off than prior to 1980 facts and figures show this. So keep praising that mugabe fool and he wont live much longer anyhow and we will celebrate his death as good riddance. And kevin many zimbos would go home if the south african gvt would be true to its self and nit support bob. Howcome before yr 2000 zimbis never flocked to s.a for a living? Its since the elections time and again are stolen. S.african gvt doesnt even want to listen to its own high court to release that report of 2002 under mbeki time. Plus south africa has also benefited from zimbabweans via increased export and many our middle class eg teachers etc formally employed in south africa contributing.Many commiting crimes as well im aware. But if s.a gvt legitimizes zim this is the result.

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    chris black 7 years ago

    10yrs without imf or worldbank loans and zim has survived…let 99% of eu nations besides germany go just 1yr without imf and worldbank loans and they collapse. .

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      jongwe power 7 years ago

      Actually, we survived by adopting the Nigerian mentality. Like we had much of a choice, since our own currency is basically worthless. And once we become crooks, it’s going to be tough to go back to doing things formally, because hustling and scamming is far much more fun than working for your pay.

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        mike hondo 7 years ago

        that s nice how do you sleep at night? Do you find yourself looking over your shoulder all the time in case you meet someone you have scammed.do people think it is good that ximbabwe is a nation of scammers?

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        igundwane 7 years ago

        Pretty much the same way we do in the UK then in order to make a living and survive ! @ Least back home corruption is open and you can make a plan and deal with it. Here in the UK with ” Cowboy and Crook aka Cameron and Clegg ” you cannot see it as it is all nicely wrapped up in pretty paper, yet in many ways you are more screwed than back home.

        In this country you have to live by your wits in order to make any kind of extra money, you fart and you get taxed !