And still the jokes keep coming


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    President Mugabe?
    Yes St Peter
    Welcome aboard
    Lets see if we can find your wife shall we?
    Oh hell, show the staircase I will walk down to the other place
    Why is Mugabe’s wife like a typewriter?
    Because, she thought she had all the keys in her possession, then found out the ‘backspace’ was missing
    What has been missing in Mugabe’s martial life for some time now?
    It took 37 years to find out that his wife was really a secret agent of the Breetish.
    Finally in my speech I refer to a leader who gave the population, security, honesty and freedom, If know this person please ring me on 00 236 ….
    I know I resigned, but I’m back! – rejoice
    I said I was president until God called me… He just has, but I didn’t understand the point he made.
    I would like to speak to you all on this day, to ask for donations towards my leaving present.. Any big contribution will suffice.
    Grace used to pick anything she saw on the floor, like pins. She has just picked one up and it want bang!
    They are preparing a pair of very slim expensive concrete shoes for Grace.
    We are together until, political intrigue, dishonesty, backbiting and a lynch mob, tear us apart.
    So you need a job?…. qualifying facts please. Scallywag, Liar, Big mouth, Verbal diarrhea merchant, ex president of bankrupt county, dishonest, big head, nasty man hated by the world; do I need to go on. No thank you. We have just the job as lighthouse keeper
    He is just like Jesus, he has risen from the political death.

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    Why is Mugabe like a headache? – It keeps coming back
    You can get rid of VD but you cannot get rid of Mugabe
    When the day come and he does ‘go’, the tearful relatives will be stood around the coffin watching the lid being screwed down firmly, then a flash of lightening from Stage left and Abracadabra the bugger reappears!
    It is true he cannot actually ‘go,’ because neither place wants him, for if a mistake had been made he would not leave.
    He is the only head of state to rule while politically dead. Why not?, not been tried before
    It’s 72% Certain he will meet his end today – unless of course there is re-run. You will know in 5 weeks time when the masseur has been.
    Mugabe thinks the jokes about him are sick – now he knows what the rest off the population feel like all the time.
    He is planning a grand farewell party, you are all invited to bring along some money
    Grace has not been seen in public because she is busy at the ATM
    Grace has been faithful, true and honest all her life, she also had her fingers crossed while saying this.
    During his speech Mugabe paid the Teleprompt operator off handsomely, but the chap has still not got the money.
    Mugabe read the wrong speech again! He only found out when he woke up