The Mbuya Nehanda magic wand 

Source: The Mbuya Nehanda magic wand | The Standard

My Dear People,

The past few days have been quite eventful, phew, I can’t even keep up.

First, these people want to dig up Baba. In hindsight, I should have cremated his body.

But anyway, Baba was a chief.

Those who know how we bury our chiefs will be wise enough not to look for his remains in an ordinary man’s grave.

No offence to the ordinary man.

Secondly, Ibhetshu LikaZulu erected a plaque for Gukurahundi victims at that former concentration camp at Bhalagwe.

The police initially tried to block them before they relented.

However, no sooner had the plaque been erected than it had been brought down and stolen.

The lazy thing was to blame Baba for the Gukurahundi massacres, but now these guys are now showing their true colours.

Lastly, Mbuya Nehanda’s statue was finally erected. It’s much smaller than I imagined.

One thing I hope for is that there will be a reduction of traffic jams in Harare.

Now after all these events, imagine if the government put so much effort in fixing the economy as they do in these peripheral issues.

My people, this country will be heaven on earth.

But this country is run by people who look for scapegoats instead of dealing with the real issues that face the country.

They hope that the Mbuya Nehanda statue will inspire a new wave of patriotism and people forget how badly they are governed.

The disciples of the occult strongly believe that putting Charwe’s statue in the vicinity of the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe will miraculously resuscitate the moribund economy.

Let me tell them one thing: It won’t work, simple.

They must stop running around commissioning this and that and concentrate on governing.

They must stop it.

Mthuli and the local currency

Is there anyone who still thinks Mthuli Ncube is the best Finance minister that Zimbabwe has had?

I mean anyone else besides Shingi Munyeza.

Mthuli and his band of praise-singers have been telling anyone, who cares to listen that the forex auction system was a roaring success and that the black market would not only die, but it would perish in this life and the next.

In fact, the auction system was so brilliant that inflation was on a free-fall and the buzzword was stability.

I almost said “stability my foot” and then I remembered I wear Gucci and that would be insulting to my feet.

If Zimbabwe was as stable as they want us to believe, then there would be no need to gazette the latest statutory instrument that literally is a price control measure.

If Mthuli was confident in the auction system, then he would not be forcing shops and other businesses to stop issuing incentives.

What he hopes will happen is that goods will be overpriced in US dollars forcing people to then resort to using the local currency.

I am not an economist, my skillset lies somewhere else, like getting a PhD in three months, but I can also tell Mthuli that it will not work, simple.

What clever Zimbabweans are going to do is to convert US dollars on the parallel market and use the local unit to purchase goods.

This will also come up with its own problems, which Mthuli is clearly unprepared for.

He must ask Gideon.

Gideon is not a very popular person in Zimbabwe because of his monetary policies.

Soon, Gideon will be forgotten and Mthuli will carry that unpopularity cross.

The youthful war-monger

Then there was that yob who went on camera and threatened violence against the MDC Alliance and its leadership.

I mean, what more evidence do the police need to arrest that thug?

That the police have not arrested him yet is an indictment on the force and how partisan it is.

Makomborero is languishing in prison right now on the charges of inciting violence, yet that Zanu PF thug continues to enjoy freedom.

The police have all the evidence, but they aren’t acting. Had this been an opposition figure, he would be behind bars by now and the key would have been thrown away.

Still on the police, Ngwena hosted a super-spreader event, but don’t hold your breath thinking they will act.

Maybe Covid-19 doesn’t affect Zanu PF supporters, because that’s the only reason they are allowed to continue holding rallies and not be governed by regulations meant to stem the spread of the pandemic.

Joana Mamombe was arrested for addressing a measly press conference yet Ngwena is allowed to hold a massive rally.

It is clear that there is one law for Zanu PF and another for the rest of the country.

As it is, Zanu PF is already campaigning for the next elections, yet the opposition (I don’t mean Dougie) have their hands and feet bound under the guise of
Covid-19 regulations.


Dr Amai. PhD (Fake)