Govt heeds ZCTU stayaway call 

It looks like Lacoste Ngwena, Gushungo’s former bodyguard, has totally run out of ideas on how to govern the country.

Source: Govt heeds ZCTU stayaway call – The Standard January 20, 2019

My Dear People,
It looks like Lacoste Ngwena, Gushungo’s former bodyguard, has totally run out of ideas on how to govern the country.

Letter to my people BY DOCTOR STOP IT

That Zimbabweans came out in their numbers to express their anger at the failed government of ED is a huge indictment on the bodyguard.

Put simply, that Lacoste decided to announce the crazy fuel price increase at night was seen by many as a sign that something was amiss.

In fact, what was a whole president doing, announcing the price of fuel?

Could the minister of energy or even his permanent secretary not have done that?

A senior director or even a circular would have been adequate, but the Lizard, for long mistaken for a crocodile, must have thought or been misled that it was such a bright idea for a president to announce a fuel price increase.

And where did the equally bright idea to flank himself during the announcement with former Fifth Brigade commander, Perrance Shiri, and former Brady Barracks commander, Constantine Chiwenga, come from?

The three have been accused of playing active roles in the massacre of unarmed civilians in Matabeleland and Midlands provinces in which the genocide claimed more than 20 000 people.

Could it have been a subtle attempt to intimidate the populace?

Clearly the population was not impressed by the three gentlemen’s resumés as they made known their collective disgust about the fuel price increase loud and clear.

The less charitable were quick to pronounce that Shiri and Chiwenga were flanking Lizard to ensure that he stuck to the script and did not announce things which he had not been told to announce by his masters.

The same less charitable people are always quick to justify their remarks by declaring that the truth of the matter is that ED lost the political battle to Dr Amai which saw him scampering across the border to Mozambique.

He only made a triumphant return after the military had waded into civilian affairs unconstitutionally.

The more we analyse actions taken by ED, the more we begin to suspect that some of his bright ideas are coming from the barracks, a G40 cabalist remarked a few days ago.

Was it the Jenerari, Boss Kedha, who instructed Lizard to announce fuel price increases at night then flee to Russia?

As some social media commentators observed, what the Lizard did was similar to what naughty urchins do in some areas where they press the intercom buzzer at some plush residences and then run away.

Another unanswered question for the experts from the barracks is why they could not gradually introduce their “posterior” measures gradually.
Thanks to their very bright ideas, they pushed Zimbabweans to the brink.

And this time Zimbabweans said “enough is enough”.

Burnin and Lootin

Zimbabweans declared they are now sick and tired of a clueless regime that wants ordinary people to suffer while the leadership lives in the lap of luxury.

It will make interesting news to the leadership in government and Zanu PF that hardships and poverty do not discriminate and will affect both Zanu PF and MDCA members and others from different political persuasions.

Maybe that explains reports that senior Zanu PF officials and some senior officers participated in the stayaway and the subsequent unfortunate burnin and lootin of shops.

They will be even more interested in reports that some security personnel were exchanging pleasantries with ordinary people during the stayaway.

Others were uttering “treasonous” statements to the effect that they perfectly understood the reason why people were on stayaway and that they were equally feeling the economic hardships.

We all hope there is no truth to malicious statements that some boys in uniform were closing the few shops that defied the stayaway call and urging them to join others.

Equally, we hope there is no truth in reports that those on stayaway were somehow getting friendly with the boys in uniform to the point of discussing politics.

Fear is usually a bankable currency for some people. When fear begins to evaporate, then the repressive class loses its hold on the population.
As is happening now.

Prease crose internet

However, it was very touching to see that in solidarity with the suffering masses of Zimbabwe, the government also went on stayaway by shutting down the internet and social media such as Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp.

My sources say it all started with a mysterious unsigned memo which was written: Prease croz oru internent. Croz oru soshari pratforms. Yours sinziyeri.

Meanwhile, in far-off Russia, Lizard Dhakisi was posting on Facebook and Twitter to Zimbabweans, the same platforms which had been “brocked” in his absence.

Just who is in charge?

Zifa circus returns

Looks like the circus is back in town. And the clowns will be sourced from Zifa. What nonsense is the team up to now after receiving the support of many neutrals during their recent elections? First thing in office after a foreign visit and the new boss Felton Kamambo fires his deputy.

Not that the deputy himself is a saint after all. Destabilising the Warriors by shuffling the coaching staff on the eve of a crucial qualifier is not the cleverest of things to do.

For those not in the know, some divisions at Zifa are following MDCA and Zanu PF fault lines.

A senior serving soldier in the new board will hopefully not allow the nonsense to undermine the Zifa potential.

Ntombizodwa woyee!
Gushungo i-cremora!
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)