Take Jabulani, Mliswa with a pinch of salt

via Take Jabulani, Mliswa with a pinch of salt | The Herald July 17, 2015 by Nicole Hondo

The Bible calls them wolves in sheep’s clothing, the intellectuals call them turncoats or opportunists, a simpler term is Jabulani Sibanda and Temba Mliswa.

It was indeed a sight to behold, the notorious “jambanja king”, expelled Zanu-PF member Jabulani Sibanda, spewing Bible verses and appearing all penitential before a crowd of his former adversaries at a recent so-called prayer meeting for the missing Itai Dzamara.

If that was not surprising enough, what was astounding was the manner in which opposition leaders present seemed to lap it all up like a starving puppy that happened upon a bowl of milk.

Could Morgan Tsvangirai defy science? Could he really be that stupid as to believe in a reformed and repentant Jabulani Sibanda and Temba Mliswa?

It was a doubly comic and pitiful sight to watch as Tsvangirai excitedly celebrated the presence of the ZANU-PF rejects at the prayer meeting. Like a teenage girl who has received her first love letter, Tsvangirai gushed; “We have not seen this in Zimbabwe; we want to thank Itai, whether dead or alive, for uniting us to fight dictatorship and oppression of the people of Zimbabwe. For the first time there is national convergence on what needs to be done in Zimbabwe.”

If all it takes to brainwash alleged Dr Tsvangirai is a couple of Bible verses repeated over and over and the banging of a podium, one shudders to imagine what would happen if he were to become president of the country.

But then again, what would one expect when Tsvangirai is surrounded by equally clueless people?

The eager-to-please Luke Tamborinyoka, like a truly hooked fish, proudly announced in the media that “yes, Jabulani Sibanda, of the one-million-men march to keep Mugabe in office. He now wants the same millions to hound the same Mugabe out of office for being a threat to safety and security of citizens.”

Can anyone really be that gullible? I do not know where this fellow partakes of wise waters, but were it where people with half a mind go, he would have picked up that Jabulani Sibanda is known to be eager to meet President Mugabe and “iron out their differences”.

Could the rumours be true that having squandered the poor MDC-T supporters’ Ecocash donations, Tsvangirai is now desperate to the extent of embracing n’anga inobata mai?

For those not in the know, money raised through the MDC-T “itai cent cent” campaign that encouraged members to “finish what we started”, and which reportedly amounts to thousands of dollars, has disappeared into thin air.

It is strongly suspected that the thin air is actually Morgan Tsvangirai’s pocket; after all, the mobile number used in the fundraising is registered in his private secretary, Edith Munyaka’s name.

Quite out of character, the two MDC-T parrots, Obert Gutu and Luke Tamborinyoka have developed super glued beaks on this matter and their silence is as echoing as it is telling. It has also been reported that the MDC-T is now so broke that it has failed to honour its salary obligations to its employees and treasurer-general, Theresa Makone, is playing hide and seek with employees at Harvest House.

Anyway, that is a subject for another day, the point is, no matter how broke or desperate for relevance Tsvangirai might be, joining forces with Sibanda and Mliswa is about the stupidest thing he can do (and there is plenty competition there).

A leopard will never change its spots and one party’s rejects can never be another party’s revolutionary leaders.

If the MDC-T and all other gullible opposition parties had any shred of common sense, they should examine the real motives behind the “terrible twins’” seeming repentance and selective amnesia.

Was it not Jabulani Sibanda who described Tsvangirai as an agent of the devil in February 2013?

Were we the only ones who bore witness to Jabulani’s reign of terror that brought the name of ZANU-PF into disrepute?

Are we the only ones awake to his unstable mental state and penchant for causing violence and drama, traits that eventually got him booted out of ZANU-PF?

That anyone would want to embrace such unrecyclable waste is beyond comprehension.

Indeed, what will opposition supporters who suffered at the hands of the unhinged Jabulani say or feel when they see Tsvangirai playing hugs and kisses with him?

Were we the only ones who heard Temba Mliswa rebuke the MDC-T in August 2013, for “enjoying corruption” so much they forgot to campaign?

What has changed between now and then that the two gentlemen (in the loosest sense) have suddenly seen the light and now want to “come reason together” with declared enemies of less than a year ago?

What has changed is the fact that the terrible twins have now lost their previously lucrative source of income, having relied on their Government and party posts to line their pockets through fraud, corruption and intimidation.

Now that the rug has rightly been pulled from under their feet, they are looking for gullible idiots to feed off and they seem to have found takers in Tsvangirai who has never been known to be the sharpest tool in the toolbox.

But then again, whence arises the role of advisors, if they are any sharper themselves? Tsvangirai and all the other opposition parties should take Jabulani Sibanda and Temba Mliswa with a pinch of salt. When a thief kisses you, count your teeth.